What the world needs now.
As everyone in Atlantic Canada, and really the entire world, has been trying to figure out ways of living amidst all the covid-19 chaos a huge tragedy has taken place in Nova Scotia.
I don’t live in any of these small communities but much of my life has been spent living and loving small community life.
I greatly understand the care, concern and genuine love these communities can provide to each other and even to strangers.
So on top of struggling to find new ways of loving this new normal life, so many people are now faced with figuring out how to accept that there with an insane killer living and working in their communities.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love….
Jackie DeShannon
We all know the song quoted above, love is a word that has many meanings. Many people couple the word LOVE with romance and not something to share with strangers. What if we look at using the word Kindness. Maybe this word could help us understand the importance of truly “loving” one another a little better.
I’ve been trying to find the words to write a post and I’m still kind of at a loss but I really feel that we as a community and as a world, need to come together more now than we ever have.
So many different people have been affected, the count right now stands at 22 innocent lives taken by the hands of a monster. Those 22 people have touched so many lives and so many people have been affected. They are left struggling trying to find ways to self isolated, to keep social distancing first and foremost priority but yet try and find comfort and understanding and ways to move forward all while dealing with unimaginable tragedy. Read more about this here https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52373798
Wounded hearts are never the same, they always love a little stronger and feel a little deeper.
People everywhere are coming together, trying to do their part. To send love and strength too all of these people that have been affected by this senseless tragedy, so they truly feel they are not alone.
As we come struggle to move on after the mass tradegy, and I struggle to finds ways to put my thoughts into words to share, Atlantic Canada is hit with yet another tragedy; The crashing of one of our Military helicopters off the coast of Greece. Another 6 lives ended way too soon, without a chance to say goodbye, without a chance for families to really be together to help comfort an already devastated community.
To see how the military is really one big hurting but strong family and for more on the amazing lives lost click here…
The one thing that keeps popping up in my head it’s just simply be kind.
I know it sounds so plain and simple, but maybe that is what the world really does need right now, and moving forward.
Everybody has something going on and right now so many people are struggling with unprecedented times, truly unimaginable times for some.
Kids trying to figure out how life is going to continue without a parent, a parent trying to figure out what life is like without a child.
Not only is this bringing out the best in people but sadly it also can bring out the worst in some people . This is a great time for us to focus on being kinder to ourselves and each other.
Let this be the time to really examine our lives and realize that each day truly is a gift. Lets find ways to celebrate and appreciate that gift every day, because tomorrow is never a guarantee.
We all know people are suffering.
We all know people deal with things in their own ways.
We all know that as much as people want to rush out and place her arms around somebody who’s hurting we can’t do that right now.
We need to find new ways.
We need new normals.
That may mean making a phone call,
sending a text, sharing a smile to the person we see out walking, holding the door, sharing a kind word to the young cashier at the grocery store.
Whatever it means to you to reach out to someone, in a new normal kind of way.
It’s certainly not what we’re used to.
It certainly doesn’t seem as comforting as being able to sit face-to-face and actually hold these people.
In this new way of life since covid-19 we are all needing to find new ways to reach out to show support, to show other that people in the world do still care.
When you’re out doing your essential business it’s tough, its different, its not what we are used to.
It’s scary, it’s different. It’s our new world.
Plain and simple.
The stores look different, people act different, people are scared.
Unfortunately, when people get scared that can sometimes turn into anger. It brings out the nasty side of people, the rudeness, the unkind words and actions. BUT, it can also bring out the genuine kindness of people. We need more of that.
Think about this the next time you head out.
How can you share kindness, yes kindness to even complete strangers?
When you meet someone please just be kind, share a smile if you can, a nod of the head, something that shows that you’re human and although you don’t know these people, you choose to share some kindness.
Be that beam of light that somebody needs.
One never truly knows how a simple act of kindness can change the day for a complete stranger.
BE THAT PERSON.
I’ve said this many times before but right now more than ever the world needs more rays of light, more smiles, more kindness, more compassion and and more gentleness.
Don’t get me wrong though, as hard as we all try, sometimes we slip and we aren’t the kindest person, that’s ok.
We are all human.
In times like that I encourage you to be KIND TO YOURSELF.
Allow yourself to be human, be gentle with yourself.
Rest and reflect and carry on.
Carry on with the hopes of being kind, and the realization that we all make choices that sometimes we aren’t proud of.
As I close I want to share just one of the many amazing people who helps motivate me daily and shows that true kindness is totally contagious. The owner of a small truck stop in one of the communities heavily affected by the masd shootings, a stranger to me, a true spreader of kindness. Follow her journey and the ongoing wonderful testament of the power of how kindness really does change the world for better, here.
Thanks for sharing your time with me, until next time my friends.
Be kind to yourself and look out for others. xo
The scary side of Self Isolation
Everyone is certainly well aware of the words self isolation and social distancing ,and if not well you soon will be.
These words have become a necessity right now, with all the kaos of COVID19.
Lots of jokes and funny memes are making their rounds. I get it, we all need humour in times or kaos and stress, all while keeping safe and following the precautions being told to us. For many this is a coping method, a way to help us get through this pandemic that is sweeping the nation, not at all meant to lessen the severity of the crisis.
All joking aside though, for the many people living and battling PTSI ( Post Traumatic Stress Injury) and other Mental Health issues on a daily basis, self isolation can become deadly, really quick. I hope to share some light for those who don’t understand the serious dark side that Self Isolation can bring, as well as some ways to hopefully find ways to get through this time without letting the demons take full control of our minds.
I myself have seen the jokes about how us folks who like to practice social distancing even before we were being told too, and have even joked about how life hasn’t changed much because we don’t like crowds and being public anyways. As much as this may seem true, it is also a very scary time for so many.
The uncertainty, the unknowing, the lack of compliance by others, the hiddenness of this virus, all contribute to heightened anxiety levels for so many. I am not wanting to add to the scariness of this nor do I want to make light of this serious state the world is in.
What I hope to do is to explain to you all, how self isolation can quickly lead to depression, mind games, and loss of hope for so many.
You may have heard people talk about demons in their minds, the thoughts that take over the mind and make people lose sight of everything right in front of them. One definition of demon is, a cruel, evil, destructive, thing or person. The demons I will speak of, refer to the intrusive, destructive, life sucking thoughts that can take over the mind of someone struggling with mental health issues.
The demons are opportunist, they exist to take advantage of circumstances.. The ultimate goal of these demons is to destroy you, using your own mind.
Oftentimes folks living with PTSI also struggle with depression and anxiety as well. Sadly these 3 can and often do go hand in hand.
The demons love to see the onset of depression or anxiety, that sparks a fire for the demons to wake up and start to creep their way into our minds. As the depression starts, one will often try so hard to keep positive to keep busy and to hope to find some dim light somewhere that will give enough strength to just keep going. Sometimes this bit of light and hope is enough to fight off depression and keep our minds faintly focussed on the good in life,keep us barely hanging on day to day or hour to hour, waiting for something to get us back to a happier place.
Friends and family may do their best to help you see the good in life, to help you dig out of this depression. They try to help you see your worth, to help you see that you are loved, that you are needed and that you have a purpose in this world.
The problem with this is that the demons have already been awoken, they are fighting all of this good that people are helping you see. For every positive and good thing that is in front of you, they have the damn power to wipe that out and beat you down mentally. They constantly are telling you negative things, telling you you are worthless. Every little bit of fear or anxiety you fight so hard everyday is the fuel these damn demons use. The demons have this way of making everything seem black. Every hour you fight off these demons they get stronger, while you get more and more exhausted. These demons, these intrusive thoughts, these negative images become so strong, we feel we can no longer fight them.
First they destroy the vision of everything around you by using yourself as the weapon. Your tiredness, your frustration, your depression, your sadness, your anger, these are just a few of things these demons try to use to break you down. Whatever you do to try and keep positive and try and keep going, they will use this against you. They will take away the joy that you may have, they will take away your desire to do the things you used to love, they wear you down so you become so exhausted that you cannot fight any longer.
The exhaustion you are now feeling, makes it really difficult to get out of your “rut” to get out of your house, your room or even your bed. This is when it gets really scary, not only for you but for those who love you, those who can see the pain, the exhaustion, the slipping away of this person they love.
Despite numerous efforts, pure love and encouragement, coaxing and reminding you how much you are loved, how important you are, how much purpose you have in life, IN YOUR MIND, you feel like you have lost everything. Often everything is still right in front of us but the demons blind us. We see nothing but doom.
This is where the battle ground gets turned around. Your mind is now working against you, the demons have their grip and you feel like you have completely lost your grip on anything of any value.
This is where the slippery side of Self Isolation comes in. We are told to stay home, stay away from people and keep safe. So we do this, the first few days are not too bad, maybe even longer for some, and then the loneliness starts to creep in and the demons start to awake.
We turn to social media and the news to keep our mind occupied and busy. This can be good if you are able to weed out all the negatives, ignore all the panic that so many people are spreading, sadly that is very difficult to do. More now than ever social media and the news are full of doom and gloom.
Yes, with COVID19 being the main topic now, it is important to share the information to the world.
However, the panic and fear that can accompany so much of this news just helps to give those demons even more power to take over our minds. To help us lose sight of joy and the life we are living.
As scary as self isolation can be for many, it is truly so important at this time in the world. Hopefully these words have helped you understand how the mind can be affected, how people can lose sight of all the goodness around them, not only those of us who live with Mental Health illnesses. For those who fully understand how these demons can work I hope some of the things in here will help you fight this battle of the demons with new hope and tools.
There is no easy answer for how to keep these demons at bay, no one pill to take, no way to just shake it off and just carry on. However there are many many ways we can use what energy we do have to hopefully keep these demons from getting a firm grip.
Let’s shift our thinking now. Let’s look at ways to help keep our minds in a positive space when there is so much uncertainty in our world!
- Please be patient with yourself.
- Practice self kindness, self compassion.
- If you are prescribed medication, be consistent.
- If you are tired, rest. It’s okay to sleep if you can.
- Fresh air, even with self isolation you can still open a window, open the door, step outside, go for a walk. It’s ok if you feel the world is too scary to go outside right now, take baby steps, start by opening the window or the door, maybe the next time you feel ok to actually step outside, maybe not, either way it’s up to you to determine what you can do.
- Eat, your body needs nourishment to fuel all the demands we put on it. Try and eat as healthy as you can. Think of food as a fuel and use it for that purpose, to give our bodies the energy we need to get through each day, to have the strength to fight these demons.
- Drink water! Yes water, our body needs it
- Practice self compassion
- Celebrate the little victories, opening the window may be a great victory for you! Celebrate that! Maybe you are able to take a small walk down the driveway, celebrate that!!!
- Get out of bed, if this is something that you struggle with, CELEBRATE when you do!!! YES for real, celebrate every victory you have!!!
- Limit your exposure to the news, social media.
- Use the internet to find something new to do!! With all the closures taking place all over the world many businesses are offering free virtual tours ect!!
- If you have no internet, look for a new show, dig out those books you have stored away.
- Breathe, yes breathe, but focus on the breath, visualize it entering your body, visualize where you feel the breath going, focus on what that breath is doing. It is giving your body one of the best gifts we can ever give it.
- Practice yoga, which is really just breathing with some movement thrown in for those who wish to get more physical with the yoga practice
- Check in on your buddies, call them, message them, facetime or skype or use whatever type of social connection you can use. This may be difficult to do, but chances are you will be glad you reached out, and they will be too!
- Write, start a journal, not sure what to write about? How about look out the window and write about what you see, write in detail and describe in detail a few things you can see. Look around your home and write about something you can see, something that makes you smile.
- Pick a happy place, something or somewhere that makes your heart smile, and think of this place each time you start to feel anxious or sad. Go into detail about what makes this place so special, visualize you being there, feel the air, smell the smells that bring you joy.
There are so many other things we can do to help us keep fighting this battle, the key is to keep trying new things, find things that work for you and when they stop working, try other things.
The point I really want to share is this:
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE LOVED
You may need to keep reminding yourself every minute, every hour, every day, that these demons are lying to you.
You have a purpose and you are loved, even when you can’t really see it.
As always, leave me some feedback, interact, what do you to keep you mind in check?
Thanks for sharing this journey with me! xoxo
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xoxo
PTSD and the healing power of a relationship with a Horse
Can horseback riding really be so much more than just a leisurely ride on a 1000lb animal?
More and more we are seeing articles on the benefits of Equine Assisted learning, or Equine Therapy in relation to healing the mind and soul in people who struggle with everyday life as a result of PTSD.
When somebody says horseback riding, the first thing that most people think of something along the lines of, adventure, thrill-seeking, adrenaline, fast, it’s a way of having fun. Or for some it can be pure fear and they say not chance in hell will you ever get me near a horse.
Today I want to share with you my observations as a spectator of a “ Riding with a Purpose” lesson for a veteran living with PTSD. I myself love being around horses, as long as my feet are on the ground! One day soon I hope to face my fears of being on a horse and start these lessons myself.
For now though I am still forever grateful for the lessons learned out of the saddle! I will cherish the fact that despite being a spectator, I have the privilege of benefitting from the lesson also.
My lesson that I share with you today, really has nothing to do with the actual image of horseback riding.
Before the lesson actually started, I was observed him, ( him being my fiance, a Veteran with PTSD) on the horse, they were focusing on communication with the rider and the horse.
It is in these first 5 minutes of his lesson, where my eyes actually opened, not to the interaction taking place in front of me, but to life in general.
The focus of the lesson in the saddle today was, how easy it really is to communicate with the horse. How a gentle touch can sometimes be your best friend. That made me think about life in general.
When you approach things, life, with fast abrupt, jerk movements and thoughts, the following can happen:
🐎You’ll tend to catch people off guard
🐎You’ll tend to be off guard
🐎Your breathing is not as controlled,it’s not as slow
🐎It’s too easy to lose focus on a certain thing when you are moving fast
🐎You lose sight of the small but significant things that can bring you joy
🐎You lose touch with your own inner feelings
What I noticed today was how much horseback riding, especially with a coach trained in Equine Assisted Learning, you actually learn a great deal about yourself and how you react to everyday situations.
People often wonder how can horse riding be a benefit to you. What does this actually do for you?
Let me share with you this, EVERYDAY that I’m in that barn and around these horses more and more I see how people can learn so much about themselves based on their interactions with the horses.
This lesson really just emphasized how important it is to be soft and gentle and calm and everything that you do. It was amazing how with just one simple finger on the reins the horse responds to the commands being given. The horse actually responds much easier to a gentle movement, a slow movement, as opposed to jerking and fast and hard.
I am really blessed to have this experience and to witness every week how “Lessons Learned” in the saddle can be transferred into everyday life.
What can you do in your everyday life to try and be more gentle, soft and aware of each and everything you do?
Can you take a moment to breath, take a moment to refocus, take a moment to determine what would be the best way for you to handle any situation that may arise.
When you can practice to be gentle with yourself and gentle with your thoughts and words, you will begin to see life in a different way. A way that hopefully will help you attain a little more peace and joy in your own life!
Many thanks to Jasmine and Marc Bastarache at Venture Stables in Freetown PEI for opening our eyes to a whole new world of opportunities in and out of the saddle.
PTSD is a diagnosis that can be scary, however with proper therapy, proper medication, like minded people, a safe and welcoming environment, peer support and the ever loving addition of a horse or 2 or 30, PTSD can become a little less scary.
For more info on the amazing things taking place at Venture, please visit their website here of find them on Facebook here.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others xox
Who is in your ‘Tribe’?
Its been a while since I’ve shared here. I was hoping that my next post would be on “isolation”. This is not the case, I am still working on that one, while stuck in my own isolation a bit more then I would like. There has been so much happening since I last was here, so much, in fact, that is life has sort of derailed me a bit once again, when it comes to what I need for me in life.
I am sure none of you can relate to that… lol ( yes that was my poor attempt at sarcasm and humor! )
I feel the need to write about ‘ My Tribe’, and what I have discovered is so important to me about having a healthy tribe. My hope is that this will help some of you look at your own ‘tribe’ and see if its really working for you. For me, this tribe is really what helps get you through this thing called life. Your tribe is different and more intense than just friendship.
The definition of tribe according to the Oxford dictionary, can loosely be explained as a group consisting of people linked by social ties with a common culture.
For me, I feel that the importance of us having our own tribe is to give us a sense of understanding without words.
” Some souls just understand each other upon meeting.” N.R. Hart
A lot of times in our lives we can have a great network of friends and family that support us and love us, which is great. I certainly have loving and caring people in my life, those who are a call away and know that I too am a call away should they need. These friendships can be life long and these people can know you very well, however, I feel certain times those family and friends may not be the best support. For me, the tribe will be people who are able to connect on an even deeper level. How you may ask? Well, let’s see if I can explain this.
I feel I can be a great friend and support for a friend who has diabetes, or even Cancer for example. I can empathize, I can listen, but because I do not live with diabetes or cancer, I can’t fully understand those unique struggles that go along with living a life with either.
On a more personal level for myself, my life is a series of days colored with Mental Health challenges and struggles. Living with PTSD myself and having a fiance who also has PTSD adds even more chaos to the life I love. For me, I have really seen the difference between having a Tribe, having my people who “get me”, as compared to having friends who don’t fully ‘get it’ because their lives may not be impacted by mental health struggles.
Last week my partner and I had a great opportunity to spend a week at a couples retreat for folks living with PTSD.
The week started by bringing 6 couples together, all complete strangers on day 1, but all living with PTSD. Yep honestly 12 complete strangers, all struggling with PTSD in a house with a common goal of finding new tools for our toolbox to help us handle our unique everyday stresses a little easier. The week ended with awesome connections and more importantly, I walked away with what I now happily consider a great addition to My Tribe.
Quickly we were able to come out of our shells and build, what we all thought would be an insurmountable task, a deep connection and almost unbelievable trust with these complete strangers.
This was possible in such a short time because every person in that house had an unspoken understanding of what each couple was living. As we started opening up and sharing little bits of our ‘ crazy but normal to us’ lives, one quickly began to see people starting to nod their heads in agreeance with what others were saying. The eye contact and the weird little grins shared between complete strangers played a huge part in the development of a strong connection even if not all wanted to speak at first. That eye contact and those grins said ” Oh my gosh I TOTALLY understand” without actually saying anything.
For me personally, it was so comforting hearing the stories of how daily struggles can seem so heavy and can make us feel so alone and not ‘normal’ ( whatever the heck society has lead us to think is normal anyway). By day 2 it was like a light bulb went off for me. ‘These people get me, they really get me’
They understand the last-minute cancellation of plans, they understand the difficulties that go hand in hand with PTSD. No one had to try and explain what ‘a day in the life’ is like because, as crappy as it is, these people live that day, in their own unique ways, day in day out.
They understand the feelings of watching a loved one so tired and scared of the outside world that they only feel safe when hiding away in the comfort of their home or even the safety of their own bed.
They understand the sadness of seeing the person you love slipping away because society can be so cruel at times, and our own minds can be so cruel at times as well, not just society.
They understand the stress related to loving someone who has lost the ability to love themselves, lost the ability to see any purpose in their life.
They understand the fact that sometimes a fun evening out with ‘friends’ is simply not fun, because of the feeling of not fitting in.
They understand the feeling of dealing with triggers every day and trying to be strong and overcome those triggers and be supportive when triggers happen.
Heck, they simply understand what is meant by a trigger.
They understand that you will love this person, who is your partner, day in and day out, and won’t ask you things like, how long will you put up with this situation before you leave. Umm excuse me?? This situation is my LIFE, and as tough as it can be, I won’t walk away because of PTSD.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I don’t love and respect all the friendships and family I am blessed to have, I totally do. People come and go all the time in people’s lives, childhood friendships can last a lifetime and that is something special in itself. Those friendships can be good or they can be draining. It is up to each of us to reevaluate as life goes on, and ask, ‘Is my tribe healthy for me at this point in my life?’ If you find you are walking on eggshells or having to try and explain the normalcy of your own life to those in your circle, or tribe, are those people really a part of your healthy tribe?
I feel it is so important to have a Tribe that fits your life. This tribe may change and flow with you just as life changes and flows. Your tribe is what you allow it to be, it can be as simple as one person or your tribe may have numerous people. It’s your tribe, build it to suit YOU! Build your tribe in a way that works for you, with people who ‘get it’, people who share similar struggles, and can celebrate the huge successes that others may see as trivial and not worth celebrating, those are the people who will help you through this journey called life in a way quite like no other.
Looking at my tribe now, it warms my heart and brings a small bit of peace to my generally on edge and panicky mind. My friends, family and my tribe, (which is really a family like no other) are something I am forever grateful for. To those who have joined my tribe and allow me to be part of their tribe, I say thank you. Thank you for loving me the way you can, thank you for accepting me for who I am, and thank you for helping me be the best me I can be.
I hope you all can look at your tribe and determine who really deserves to be in your tribe.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others. xo
Confession Time
So, those who are paying attention to my posts will see that I am pretty dedicated to my emotional health these past few months.
It has been an enormous change for me and has really given me a new and more positive outlook on my life. ( Most days! LOL ) I’m honest here, right! 🙂
Here is what I started with last week, once I realized I needed to change my thinking. ( One of my morning posts on my IG account jensjourney73)
- It would be a lie if I were to say to you all that I am killing my workouts every day without struggles.
- It would be a lie to tell you that I am eating clean every single day.
- It would be a lie to tell that 95% of my morning posts aren’t a blatant reminder to MYSELF.
- It would be a lie to tell you that I don’t still have almost daily breakdowns.
- It would be a lie to you I am perfect mom, lol is there such a thing? lol
- It would be a lie to tell you that me and my fiance have a great relationship with no stresses. ( but I still love him dearly and know he loves me back just the same)
- It would be a lie to tell you I don’t let people down.
- I would be a lie to tell you I don’t beat myself up with self doubt on a constant basis. ( I am getting better, but still have a lot of work to do)
- It would be a lie to tell you I don’t battle with anxiety and depression every single friggen day. ( but dammit I am giving it all the fight I have)
But what is not a lie is this:
- I am pushing through my workouts EVERY DAY as per the program I have chosen for the past 64 days. YES, 64 days!!!
- I eat ice cream almost 5/7 days a week ! ( Western PEI has way too many dairy bars, that are open now that summer is here! )
- I share posts in hopes that I will actually take my own advice, and many of you love them too! That makes me smile!
- I have my meltdowns and let myself cry and then pick myself back and do what I can. Sometimes its minutes sometimes its days, but I always keep going.
- Honestly in my eyes there is no such thing as perfect. I do my best and I be open and honest with all my kids now. (and they seem to appreciate that, so that is good with me!)
- Having a fiance who also lives with PTSD is tough, we have some really shitty days, BUT we also have some truly amazing days that we cherish so much more. Our shitty days really do help us in the long run. I think we truly are a power couple! ( lol slight play on words there, his last name is Power!!)
- Of course I let people down, hello, I’m human. Every day I try harder and work more on being more gentle with myself and those around me!
- Self doubt is so frustrating. I am getting better, but still have a lot of work to do.
- Anxiety and depression may never fully go away, but I am learning to acknowledge and accept and to not hide that I struggle.
Although this post was primarily focused on my eating and my workouts, it was the start of much more in-depth thinking and mind shifting for me!
I DONT WANT TO QUIT!
So I RESET ( shake off the past)
Life has been hectic the past few weeks. I have been go go going, really doing way too much! Lol story of my life, right?
Who can relate? I know many of you can; we are always being pulled in so many different directions, adding more tasks to our already super busy lives.
For me, this is a continuous pattern I have had for way too long. I have such a hard time saying no, and I want to help out wherever I can. Well this my friends can be a super quick recipe for disaster, IF we don’t learn to stop from time to time and well, pause two three, NOW continue. 🙂
I am working at taking my own advice these days, but Frigg is it ever hard.
So I READJUST ( change your thinking)
For me right now, my pause two three is super crucial. I had been wondering about why I am even writing these blogs again, why am so dedicated to my daily workouts when I still eat like a human garburator some days, ( I would eat everything!! LOL) why do I try to keep things going when it seems like such a struggle.
I should add here too that while all of this was going on in my head, my fiance said to me, ” hey I have an idea I want to share with you that you should write about” I was floored, it was so great to see him reaching out and sharing with me. He had no idea the thoughts I was fighting in my head. It turns out his idea was right along the same path I am shifting my thinking to right now. He said you should write about demons; you know the demons that live inside us and try to beat us down!) SO stayed tuned in the next few weeks as I share his and also my own thoughts on the demons that can come with Mental Health illnesses! Thanks, babes!! 🙂 xox
I’ve been letting my mind start comparing myself to others, in every aspect of my awful life! ( That is where my mind was at that time, I felt life was awful)
Why are other bloggers getting so many more followers?
my head
My stupid thinking
Why are others getting so much more interaction?
Yep my negative thoughts again
Why do I try to do things when I know I will end up quitting when things get too overwhelming?
This is a cycle I had been so used to doing for so many years. It is not a cycle I will not let continue.
Then BAM a meme pops up( the one up top) and kicks me in the face, and all of a sudden, my thinking shifted. Thank goodness it did because I was really headed to a path I don’t want to go down again.
Let me share a few things:
- Life is still difficult.
- I still face personal challenges every day.
- Even though every day I post a positive or motivational post, it doesn’t mean I have my S^!# together day in and day out.
- A lot of days I am posting things that a reminder to me that I can get through the S*^! I am struggling with.
- It is a reminder to me that it is so important to find something positive in each day.
- It is a reminder to me that it does no good to focus on negatives.
- It is a reminder to me that even though things may seem so dark and depressing for whatever reason, IT WILL PASS.
- It is a reminder to me that no matter what, each day is a gift.
I will say that my workouts are one thing that I have been committed to every day for the past 60+days.
Each and every day for the past 60+ days, I have pushed through my sometimes shitty attitude and got through each workout!
Some days I was so pissed off at whatever that it was a great workout getting rid of the negative energies.
Some days I pushed through buckets of tears of frustration and got through the damn workout despite having a really crappy eating day.
Some days I was up at 5 am so excited to get my dog walked so I could home and work out with my fantastic group of motivators online! YES, you read that right!! Excited at 5 am to do a workout!
What do you have that you can help you get excited?
My biggest challenge has been my eating habits, I try my best to eat clean, and I know that when I eat certain foods, it really messes with my mental state. BUT yet I still allow myself to put those damn foods into my body.
Then the struggle gets harder because I start to beat myself up for being so stupid and weak and eating those foods. Then I get craving those crap foods even more and one little brownie, turns into five brownies, three glasses of milk, then a piece of pizza, and then the list continues.
Then I start feeling like crap, I get bloated and depressed, and it can become a vicious cycle. Who is shaking their head in agreeance with me right now? Lol Ya, I know you get it!!
So I RESTART ( with new thinking and fresh mind)
The thing is, each time this happens, I am getting stronger to stop the cycle and stop putting that crap food into my body.
Each day is a new day to RESTART! It doesn’t matter about yesterday, by resetting, readjusting and restarting it helps us to keep our focus.
Which leads me to the final RE!!
So I REFOCUS!
Try and look back at why you started something.
What is your why?
For me, this was the key to reset my thinking!
- My why was to keep me moving forward.
- My why is to share my stories, to help me keep my thoughts clear and on point if this helps others along my journey that is just a bonus, IT’s NOT MY WHY.
- My why is my health,
- My why is my family,
- My why is because I deserve to live a happy life.
It became discouraging because I wasn’t focused on my INNER feelings of happiness. By doing the 4 RE’s, I am getting back on track and refusing to let myself quit!
Here’s a quick recap for those who may want to keep this part handy for your own lives!!
- RESET to wipe clean the past thoughts and things that are holding you down.
- READJUST- change your thinking according to where you need to be today
- RESTART each day, or even each minute or hours is a new beginning so you can start fresh.
- REFOCUS what are your goals, have they shifted or changed a bit since you last did a check?
Change is ok. If you change your goals, don’t let it stress you out. Life is all about setting goals, reassessing now and then and checking in to see if you are still on YOUR right path.
What are you looking at doing for your inner well being?
Do you need to make some changes? Changes in plans don’t mean failure. It simply means change.
What this post helped me to realize and what I want to leave you with is this:
It is easy to get lost in comparing ourselves to others.
STOP comparing yourself to others.
NO ONE else is awesome in the same way as you.
Sometimes the 4 RE’s are needed to set our minds in the right direction again. Look at your own 4 RE’s and see what you can do to get back on a track that works for you for now, and then when it feels like it’s not working, maybe its time to revisit the 4 RE’s again.
What will help you refocus?
- Are you a list maker, do you need to weigh the pros and cons to help you reset and refocus?
- Do you have too much on your plate right now?
- Are there some things that maybe you can let go of for now?
- Are you able to say NO to somethings to have more time for what is important to you?
Although my post today started out focusing on my workouts and my eating, it really pertains to every aspect of my life right now. I think many of you will relate. We all have struggles; we all have things that can push our limits. Our relationships, our kids, our jobs, our volunteer commitments, our friendships, we all have situations where we can use the 4 RE’s.
I am thankful for this post, and the ways it has helped me focus.
I’m getting back to healthier eating, which is huge for my mental health. I’m working on saying no to things that I don’t have the energy for. ( and working on not feeling guilty for saying no) I’m working on my inner strength and what brings me inner peace and strength.
As I said in the beginning, not every day is a good day, some days suck.
So please don’t be fooled by the beautiful things you may see on social media and think that some folks have their shit so much more together than you.
Chances are they are struggling just as much as the next, but most folks don’t want to share the behind the scenes crap.
I’m trying not to be that person. I am ok with being the real me and sharing the good and the bad with you all, as I journey through this thing called life.
Where will you use the 4 RE’s in your life?
Thanks again for sharing some time with me, as always I’d love to hear back from you! It gets lonely sometimes in here all by myself!!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others!
Walking Meditation – Halifax Public Gardens
So many people think that meditation has to be done in a quiet spot, so you can sit down with your eyes closed.
This, in fact, is not true!
Recently, I went for a walk in the downtown core of Halifax went into The Public Gardens in Halifax. If you are not familiar with this spot, the pictures I share here will give you a great idea of the beauty and serenity found within this green space in the heart of a city.
With spring here and summer just around the corner, the garden was amazing, as it is always. As I entered the gates, the whole world just seemed to drift away.
I did have my phone out because I wanted to capture some of these beautiful pictures I’m going to share. But otherwise, I simply walked. I spent about 20 minutes of my day to simply be present and in the moment and take and every little bit of the surroundings I was in. ( This was a fantastic break from the inside of the IWK hospital, where my daughter was. I was so blessed that I could spend some of my outside ME time surrounded by such beauty.)
Walking meditation is really so simple and can be done anywhere by anyone. All you need to do is be present with your body.
Tips to help you practice walking meditation:
- Bring your focus and your mind to your footsteps.
- Take note of every time your foot hits the ground.
- Work at being gentle as your feet touch the ground.
- Take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Slow your heart rate down and your mind as well.
For me, this particular morning, my mind was extremely busy. The deep breathing in through the nose and out through the nose, NOT the mouth really help to ground me. It’s incredible how the breath can do so much for you. I encourage you to play with your own breathing, practice different types of breathing, pay attention to how you breathe, bring some mindfulness to your own breath when you are feeling overwhelmed.
After only a few short minutes of walking, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. I was utterly amazed at how, in the middle of a city, with the hustle and bustle going around just a few feet away outside this beautiful park, I was able to shut my mind down and just focus on all the beauty around me.
This is walking meditation, my friends.
Letting your mind wander in the beauty around you. I smiled as I saw a young couple having pictures taken in the park. I spent much of my time looking around, watching the beautiful little buds start to grow as the trees and flowers all begin their new life in the spring.
I’m also a huge people watcher. Walking meditation through a park like this was an excellent spot for it. I don’t people watch to judge, I people watch just to take him the beauty. Each person is so unique.
As I continue to stroll, with each step I took, I focused more and more on my breathing, and I focused on being present and where I am.
So you see a walking meditation can really be done anywhere it just means putting your mind right in the moment of where you are. People are always so go, go, go in this day in age. By taking just a few minutes each day to simply walk and breathe and enjoy the beauty around we can really improve your emotional health.
There’s something about being outside surrounded by nature, seeing the bright blue sky or even a cloudy Sky it can provide some much needed YOU time.
To exchange a smile with a stranger, to be that smile maybe a stranger needs, it can really lift your heart and bring a smile to your own face.
Walking meditation is a tool that we all have at our disposal 100% of the time, but yet we fail to use it as often as we should. After my 20 minute walk through the beautiful gardens, my mind was clear, my lungs felt refreshed, and I had an overall feeling of peace.
As I left the park and turned back into the busy streets of downtown Halifax, I was so very grateful at this beautiful place nestled in amongst the chaotic hustle and bustle of a bustling City.
Scientific Studies have shown that by only taking a few minutes each day to ground yourself and to focus on some beauty and some positive things, you can really reduce your stress levels.
Where will you try walking meditation, my friends?
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
Reason’s YOU can’t Yoga, and why YES you CAN !
So many folks have never given yoga a try, that is sad. Hear me out before you run away please!! LOL I was one of those for many years! DARN do I ever regret not trying it sooner!!! There are so many excuses people use. I understand trying new things can be scary!!! BUT not trying new things is not healthy for your heart, body or mind!!
For all you negative Nelly’s out there ( no offense to Nelly’s who are not negative!! LOL ), here’s a small list of reasons you may have for NOT TRYING YOGA!!! As well as my responses showing how, YES YOU can! You know you love me!! Keep reading, your mind, body and heart may just love ya for it!!
Disclaimer, be sure to listen to your body as you try any of these links below, start slow and easy! Talk to your doctor if you have more questions!
JUST BE SURE TO START!!!
Excuses, and ways to start NOW!!
- I’m not flexible enough ! Yep I get it, There are lots of moves I can’t do either. SO WHAT!!! lol Can you sit and place your hands on your legs? YEP you can, so you can do yoga!
- I’m not skinny enough ! Ummm excuse me?? Where is it written yoga is only for the ‘skinny’???? NOWHERE, that’s where!!. Again I ask you, can you sit and touch your legs? Awesome try this little yoga routine. YES YOU CAN
- I don’t have time. Uggggg this is such an excuse for way too many things. Do you wake up and reach for your phone/tablet/computer? Try swapping out even 5 mins to do a quick yoga routine like THIS one to kick start your day in a positive way.
- Yoga is just for girls! OH NO YOU DON’T! How dare you be so close minded! lol 🙂 I’ve seen the biggest, tattooedest, bearded rough guys do yoga( with pride) ! Some of the best built male bodies do yoga and know how much it can help their regular workout routine! Check out some of the videos here and see for yourself, tough guy!! 🙂
- Yoga won’t help me with my breathing, or breathing is just something we do automatically! Check this out my friends!
- Yoga won’t help my PTSD or other Mental Health struggles!! Well, I beg to differ my friend!! It may not work for all, but I bet if you give it an HONEST chance and do some practices you will see a difference in your own Mental Wellness! 🙂 Watch this one to hear more.
- War Veterans don’t do yoga ! This it totally not true! Watch what this US War Veteren who lives with PTSD has done!
So my friends as you can see Yoga really is for everyone! It just takes a second to see what will work for you! I challenge you all to take just 5-10 mins each day to try a NEW practice and see what happens after just a few days!
Skip that silly video so and so posted late last night, try a 5 min yoga practice instead.
Will it really matter if you don’t get to click the like button on a funny Facebook post because you CHOOSE to do something for your mind instead with that time?
So what if it takes you an extra 5 mins to get that reply sent, 5 mins of mindfullness can be much more beneficial to your over all health!
Even with pets YOU can yoga!
There you have it my wonderful friends! Get yourself going and try a PRACTICE!! Yoga is called a practice, because each time you do it YOU ARE PRACTICING!
It is not something you master in 5 minutes or 5 days. It is something that you do for YOU each and every time ! At your own pace!
I hope this helps you decide to give it a try!! Let me know down below in the comments!! 🙂
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
To Do lists.. do you love em?
Today is a VLOG day!! Check it out!!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
Blog CHALLENGE Day 18
Today’s prompt is really cool, I promise🥰!!!
What is your Love Language?
💋💕😍🧘♀️🛀👫👬👭💏💑👩👧👧👩👧👨👦💕❣
I had never really given much thought to LOVE LANGUAGE- in all.honesty I didn’t realize it is really a thing! However thanks to my coffee date this morning with good ol Google I discovered this! There are actually five languages of love! Yup 5! A bunvh of books about it, and of course a multitude of websites thst explore it furthet as well. oh and of course the online quiz to help you determine what your Love Language is. lol
So before I take the test, I will share what I think my love language is, based on the definitions found here. You can read more about the 5 languages at that link also.
For now, this is what I think for me!Acts of service and quality time are the two that really stick out for me! I feel that for me the doing and spending quality time together, really melt my heart. I think for me this is really what speaks to my heart.This is kind of fun in a sense! It really gets you thinking about what makes you feel loved. I am really thinking that more people need to look at these as a couple or even if you are single. It really helps you realize what love is to you. So often we try so hard in relationships, but we are speaking different love languages, and frustration can set in.
So now then, Im going to go take that quiz and see what it says!! lol grab a coffee and you do it too!!
☕☕☕🥛🍼🍵🍸🍷☕🍻🥤🥛☕☕☕
Come on you know you want tooooooo !!!! 🥰🥰❣❣🥰
Wellllll, lol, how did you do?This is my result! lol
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️💋💋💋💋💋⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
If you want to read more on the 5 languages of love
TRY THESE ONES!
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️💕❣⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
✨🎇✨✨🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈
🌞📖📖📖📖📖📃📃📃♥️
I hope this was a fun read ! Feel free to share your LOVE LANGUAGE below!!
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️♥️♥️♥️♥️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others !xox♥️
