Today I made a post on my social media accounts about putting a sparkle in your day. Well, let me share with you all something that truly sparkles!
Rylee-Anne with 2 backpacks!
Meet Rylee-Anne Swinemar, a teenage girl from a small Nova Scotia town on a mission. Her mission is to attend Camp Courage. Camp Courage is a great opportunity for young women aged 15-19 who are interested in a career as a first responder.
In order to get accepted into this awesome camp, each applicant must write an essay on what they would do to improve the life of someone who is less fortunate. Once they have written the essay they must put their words into action and make it a reality.
Rylee-Anne has chosen to put together backpacks for individuals who are in shelters, and the homeless. With the help of her dad, Shane, and social media, she has received support from far outside of her small community. I don’t think I personally know her dad, but my fiance does, and we have mutual friends on Facebook. That is how I came across this firecracker of a girl!
How great is that, the world of social media is helping this girl fulfill her dreams!
She will continue collecting backpacks, personal items (see list below), and also monetary donations to help purchase and fill the backpacks until the end of April 2019!
At the beginning of May, Rylee-Anne, along with her family, will start the next awesome part of this adventure. They will be delivering the backpacks to the people in shelters throughout the Halifax area. Just the thought of the smile one of these backpacks can bring to someone going through rough times melts my heart and makes me smile.
If you would like to support her in this wonderful adventure, please contact her dad, Shane using the link at bottom. If you are not in a position to help financially, please share this, that is a great support as well!!
I will continue to follow Rylee-Anne as she continues this journey, and will provide an update once she starts the delivery. It is just amazing how much impact one idea, from one teenager, can have on so many people!
Rylee- Anne certainly knows how to bring sparkle to a person’s day!
Jen
Here is the list of things she is collecting for the backpacks, all items are to be brand new and still wth original packaging, except the backpacks, well loved and in good condition backpacks are welcome!
backpacks * hand towels
toothbrush and paste * hairbrush
unisex deodorant *bars of soap
towels *wet wipes(baby wipes)
face cloths *razors
sunscreen * small sewing kit
granola bars * small packages of tissues
toilet paper
Etransfers can be sent to Shane at swinemarshane@hotmail.com
If you want to reach out to Shane, her dad, via Facebook, click below
Ok my friends here I go, jumping in with both feet, and stepping even further out of my comfort zone! I have seen a few fellow bloggers doing 30 day challenges and I have loved reading them. They have really motivated to keep going and to keep searching for what feels right. I am happy to say that I think I have settled on a goal and am working on how to bring it to life. It’s going to be exciting and it’s going to challenge each and everyone who join’s me! SO be sure to follow me and don’t miss a thing!! I love the motivation and support that I am sharing BUT more so, what it is bringing to me! The desire to keep going! So thanks to you all!!
As you join me on this part of the journey, I encourage you all to join in whatever way you feel up to it!
I am a “To-do” Listmaker, but not so much a “To-do” List follower! I am good at making a list in the morning, and as the day goes on, I find new things to do, that wasn’t necessarily on that list. So, as I do something, I add it to my list and then cross it off! By the end of the day, I normally have had a somewhat productive day, but not always finishing the things that were originally on my list! Hey, least I’m being productive for some things, right?
I’m an only child.
I have lived in Canada my whole life. British Columbia, Ontario , Manitoba, Nova Scotia, and PEI. My favorite spot I have lived so far is West 4th Ave, Vancouver BC. 3 blocks from the water and a super trendy part of town, back in the early 90’s anyways!!
I have a 5 lb Yorkie dog named Bean. I hate to admit but I am kind of turning into a crazy dog mom. Bean has been to Doggy Daycare and he will quite often get new sweaters or jackets when I am out shopping. And yes I get mommy anxiety when dropping him off at daycare.
Valley Harvest 2017
Bean
Vancouver
5. I have been married once and divorced once.
6. I’m super duper emotional and I cry very easy over everything.
7. I own a Harley Davidson but I don’t have a bike license yet.
8. If you were to define me I think you could say I’m an empath. I pick up on people’s emotions quite intensely. I am often found listening to people’s trouble’s as it is said I am easy to talk to.
9. I love running, and have done quite a few 1/2 marathons, 5 and 10km runs!
10. I served for 16 years with the Royal Canadian Air Force as a supply technician. My postings included, Trenton, Ontario; Greenwood, Nova Scotia, and Shearwater Nova Scotia.
11. I absolutely love Pepsi but I’m trying to cut down so I’ve switched to a carbonated water called Bubly and I absolutely love it too. But sometimes nothing beats a good cold can of Pepsi.
12. I love Ellen, and try to watch her show everyday. I will quite often be in tears, either from laughing or crying or both! I love how she gives to people and recognizes everyday people ! It would be a dream come true to get to her show!
13. I love to travel and I absolutely love being in western Canada. Alberta and British Columbia are my two favorite provinces. Although I do need to get some more visiting into Newfoundland, and also to Saskatchewan to visit dear friends.have been to the following places in my lifetime London England as well as Blackpool and Manchester England when I was about 12 . I still remember the amusement park in Blackpool like it was yesterday. I have been to Dubai and Al Ain in the United Arab Emirates. I have been to Orlando Florida, Anaheim and Carlsbad California. I have taken a repositioning cruise with Princess Cruise Lines from Vancouver to San Francisco California, then traveled by Greyhound bus from San Francisco to North Dakota. I remember a group of ‘deadheads’ that I had met on that trip. I had no idea what a deadhead was until they explain that they were huge followers of The Grateful Dead. They were awesome and I was able to introduce them to the amazing music from the Canadian band The Tragically Hip. They had never heard them but absolutely fell in love with the music. I have spent time on Vancouver Island I absolutely love Tofino, it’s a beautiful Island. I’ve been to Vancouver British Columbia, Calgary for the Calgary Stampede and many many years ago. I strongly encourage you to take in the Stampede if you ever find yourself in Calgary at the right time! I spent many years in Winnipeg, Manitoba (my hometown) and as well in Headingley Manitoba just outside of Winnipeg. Headingley is home to Nick’s Inn, home of one of the best ever Burgers! I spent one week visiting Newfoundland Canada but definitely need to get back.
14. I work best under pressure, and often leave things to the last minute!
15. I get scared to death when I have to talk in a crowd. I’m really stepping out of my comfort zone with the slog and with the videos I’ve been doing but I think it’s for the best. It makes me uncomfortable but it also forces me to keep going and to look at what I really want from life.
16. I am engaged. He totally shocked me on Christmas Eve 2018. I had no idea that he was going to propose anytime soon. I was quite stumped that he managed to pull off the surprise because I tend to be super nosey!! LOL, It couldn’t have happened any better. It was a beautiful night and we were looking at Christmas lights in North Rustico PEI. He faked a sore chest then got down on one knee and now I have a beautiful ring on my finger and my best friend to spend the rest of my life with.
17. I own a bright orange hippie bus named Delilah.1974 VW Campmobile. I must point out as well, my two girls state they despise the bus. My son, on the other hand, has made it very clear that it is to go to him as soon as I tire of it. It’s fun owning her. When I’m out and about I’ll often find a note on the windshield from somebody asked me if I’m interested in selling or telling me it’s a really cool bus. She’s a great conversation starter. Owning her has also allowed me to meet quite a few other VW owners which is really kind of cool.
18.I’m petrified of snakes and bats. When I first started dating my fiance, he had one bedroom in his house and the door was always kept closed. It wasn’t until about three weeks after I had been going to his house that he revealed to me that behind that door was a great big huge massive white California King Snake, named Aerosmith. He assured me that it couldn’t get out and I managed to survive.
19.I help facilitate a peer support program for veterans on Prince Edward Island called Brave & Broken
20. The final random point I will share is, this whole blogging and social media and basically putting my story out there is scaring me to pieces. Even though it is scaring me to pieces, I really feel it is helping me to heal and helping me to look inside of myself to really sort out everything that has been jumbled in my head over the last forty some years.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
She was quite sore and tired. A broken night of sleep as the nurses came in every couple of hours to give her her meds and to move her in the bed so she wouldn’t get sores and to keep her more comfortable. The staff were great and very supportive and comforting to her.
Day 1 Post Op
In the morning, just like after surgery, her dad continued to make sure she blew on her little pinwheel every hour to help keep her lungs clear and encourage good air flow because of the heavy sedation she was under. Can’t really say she was a fan of this but she did it! The morning after surgery, physio came by to get her up. This was the first time she had been on her feet since before surgery. She was in good spirits but got a bit nauseated when she first sat up. Being the trooper that she is, she managed to get up and into the wheelchair. She wheeled herself out it to the hallway and then back to the bed. I was so impressed with her and so was physio! That was enough for now. Back to bed to rest now!! A well-deserved rest! The anesthesiologist was in and discussed his plan for pain management in the days ahead. She would stay on her continuous drip pain medication until at least the following day and she still had use of the PCA (patient-controlled analgesia) pump, if she needed. He stated that once she was able to come off the continuous flow she would still have the PCA pump to administer if she needed. It would probably be day three before taking the IV out, switching then to oral pain pills.
Honest, I’m not that short!
First time out of bed!
Look at her go!
Thank goodness for facecloths
The physiotherapist was back in in the afternoon and Maddi was wanting to get up and walk. She did a whole walk around one wing of the seventh floor. She did amazing, no dizziness and no feeling nauseated! I walked with her and physio, she felt quite tall, and pointed out how short I looked! Such a doll she is. lol, She shuffled along quite well. She said her back felt much different than it did prior to surgery. Being only the first full day after surgery she’s not eating much. They’re hoping that by the end of the day today she might be able to have a little bit more to eat than just the yogurt and what not but it depends on how she feels.
Day 2 Post Op
Yorkie visit
Up and outta bed!
It’s Saturday now, she’s still quite sore today and not really keen on moving around much. I got up to see her around 9, we were headed to my fiance’s mom’s 80th birthday if Maddi was feeling up to me being gone! I knew she would be fine as her dad was still with her, but the mom in me sure hated to leave her! I knew it would be all good, and I was looking forward to the visit!! She was very nauseated for a little bit. I think they had already started to slow down the background meds and she wasn’t wanting to use her PCA pump to do too often. She was waiting for her breakfast tray to come around 930, which consisted of juice, Jello, yogurt, and applesauce. She’s really looking forward to trying some food. But the closest she could have to real food, for now, was liquidy soft food. They keep that soft liquidy diet until such time as her tummy is making more noises, and they needed her to be able to pass gas before they would allow much food.!! So the wait began, for the glorious moment!! We got her up to the chair and she’s resting quite well before we left. She had a sneak in visit with lil Bean also this morning! I think that made her feel a bit better also! I felt bad for her, she was feeling pretty run-down. Anyone who has spent any time in a hospital can totally relate I’m sure. The not sleeping soundly because of all this stuff going on, the catheter still in and just not being at home in her comfy bed was all starting to get to her. She is hoping the catheter would come out later that day! It all depended on how she was getting up and around.
Off we went for our quick overnight birthday trip and left Maddi to spend the time with her dad. She texted me quite often while we were gone, which was super ok with as it helped to ease my worrisome mama bear mind!
They took her catheter out on day 2 as well which was very nice for her to have one less tube thingy to worry about! By Saturday night she was pretty exhausted and really wanted to be home so she could sleep! This was hard for me as I knew the best place for her still was right where she was! 🙁
Around 8 that night, I received a super great text from her!! Her tummy was finally starting to wake up and that glorious moment happened! Yep, she tooted!! LOL and that meant she could have some real food!! She was craving a bagel, of all things she could have, she wanted a bagel!!
By Sunday morning she was able to have a bit more sleep but was in a horrible amount of pain. Which was understandable as they were cutting back the pain meds and also she was starting to move a bit more now too. She had quite a tingling pain on her left side that would not allow her to lay on that side, so that was a bit worrisome. Time will tell what comes of that but they weren’t overly concerned at this point.
She finally got her bagel Sunday morning, which she thoroughly enjoyed!
She had a visit with my parents on Sunday afternoon, and managed to eat some stir-fry for lunch!
When I arrived late Sunday afternoon, she was doing really well. We wheeled down to the Subway on the main floor and she had 1/4 of a sub. She walked part of the way down and then felt too tired so I drove the wheelchair for her! 🙂 It was nice to have her out of her room that day!
Day 3 night went well with no major complaints just the usual trying to sleep in hospital complaints!
Hopefully day 4 will be going home day!! Stay tuned!!
Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
What to do when your emotions get the best of you and that hot mess of a person sets in and takes over your mind.
What about when you just get so much stuff in your head and you end up losing the ability to focus on self-care? It’s not that you don’t understand how important it is. We know that when we neglect ourselves we eventually, slowly, and painfully become an emotionally exhausted hot mess. Well, that hot mess is what you are getting today.
Sleep.. where are you?
The feels of me today|!
Poutypants
We all know how important self-care truly is, I’ve spoken about it before and will continue to do so even if I stumble and neglect my own self-care from time to time.
This past week, well honestly, the few weeks prior as well, have really played havoc on my mind. Things have been so busy with so many emotions! Good, bad, happy, ecstatic, lonely, regretful, confused, loved, hated, suffocated, and many more emotions!
“You get it, right?”
From the amazing trip out to visit my son and his now-fiancee in Edmonton, to seeing the beauty of the mountains in Western Canada and breathing that fresh air that is like no other, to the visit with my Aunt who I haven’t seen in over 20 years, to the trip to Halifax for my daughters surgery, to the trip to Church Point NS to celebrate my fiance’s moms 80th bday and meeting his sister from BC, to spending some time with my gorgeous redhead girl in Halifax, and now, being home as my girl recovers from her surgery, to say emotions have been running wild is to put it mildly!
Now don’t get me wrong, as much as I may sound pouty or ungrateful, that is the farthest from the truth you could get! I am beyond grateful for so many things and I think that is part of my problem too. There is just so much going on in my brain it is all like a bowl of cooked spaghetti noodles. All the noodles intertwined just like all the emotions. Imagine having a bowl of cooked spaghetti and how delicate those noodles are, try to pull just one out without breaking it, and then trying to finally focus on that one noodle. Well, I’m that noodlebrain these days.
Noodlebrain: Someone who is a bit confused…..
Urban Dictionary
Now, while I am great at offering suggestions to others who may feel like this, for me to do this for myself, well heck no, that just ain’t happening. BUT, it has to happen because no one can go on living like a noodlebrain forever, right? I need to say that because I know this is just a bump in my journey and there will be many more bumps but those bumps won’t last forever, nor will that noodlebrain feeling. So, despite the fact I really feel like I have don’t have the energy to carry on and to sort out this gosh darn noodlebrain, here I am venting at all of you and saying to myself, girl you gotta do this.
“You gotta do this, “
So for all of you who can relate to the noodlebrain feeling or the feeling of being too tired to carry on, I challenge you to look at you and why ” YOU, gotta do this” Try and put aside the noodle bowl mind for a few seconds at a time and really look at your OWN why’s. Despite that jumble of intertwined emotions, you are an amazing person and YOU have reasons that can help remind you of your own why’s.
Look at you, what are your reasons ‘Why’ ” YOU, gotta do this?
I am going to share with you some of my WHY’s, in case you need some help getting your own list going. These are just random why’s for me, not listed in any order of priority, they all carry there own weight. Bottom line is, it doesn’t matter what you’re WHY’s are, it just matters that you remember them and do what’s needed to keep going, to keep working on sorting those emotion noodles, with gentleness and grace, as slow as YOU need to!
Some of my ‘Whys’
A. My posts about our Scoliosis journey, have led to a fellow “scoliosis girl” mom in another province to reach out to me. I received a ding from my Facebook notification as I was stuck in my noodlebrain. Stuck hating life and wondering what my purpose is. Sounds dumb I know, but I really was in a dark place at that moment. Her message made my day and brought me out of that dark place. So, that WHY is because even in my darkest of times, simply by sharing stories in my blog, which forces me to stay focused, it’s connecting people with people in a great way that really helps.
B. Friends that really matter, those who can relate to the emotional noodle jumble need my noodlebrain! Yep, believe it or not, even when we feel like complete noodlebrains, chatting with fellow noodlebrains really helps. Those friends can help you realize that it really is ok, and that jumble can be dealt with, one emotion at a time. Noodlebrains, helping noodlebrains, one noodle at a time! Please laugh when you read that!!
C. Reconnecting with “long lost” family members, this is a huge one for me! nuf said on that one! I will hopefully elaborate on that WHY in a later blog!
D. My wonderful immediate family!! Daughters to be here for, sons too and a soon to be daughter in law too!! Weddings to be planned, mine and also my boys. Grand kiddies from my fiances family, that we get to watch grow and amaze us all the time!
E. The final WHY I will share for now is this; I am sure all the bumps and turns that my journey has brought me so far are for a reason. I have no idea about the exact reason, or reasons and don’t think it really matters. By sharing my journey, I hope that all my bumps and turns will help others along their own journeys. Personally, I have found so much support and comfort from the experiences that others have shared about their own bumps and turns. So this final WHY, is ‘ to share my stories with others and perhaps bring some comfort and support for them on their own journey.
Now that I have sort of loosened up that noodle pile in my brain, and forced myself to focus on my WHY’s, I shall leave you all for now. I am going to work on a 30-day blog challenge, I think this will help keep me focusing on the positives and give me the strength to gently start ‘unclumping ‘all these intertwined emotions and allow me to share a bit of how that goes!
Join me on this challenge, start your own blog, add it to your existing blog, or simply challenge yourself to comment on mine !
I encourage you all to share one of your own WHY’s below, or share how you work at unjumbling your own noodlebrain. Be sure to follow me and to subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss anything this noodlebrain has to share!
Until next time my noodlebrain and non-noodlebrain friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others.
We left the hotel in downtown Halifax around 9am. M was unable to eat breakfast this morning, which normally isn’t an issue, but of course this morning she wanted food. LOL I think it was more her just knowing she couldn’t eat though, and really she was doing great. She was allowed clear fluids that morning until 8am, she chose her Mountain Dew… lol but it was only a small sip! I couldn’t say no, considering it was clear, and it would be hours before she would be able to drink again! We made the quick drive over to the doggy daycare where Bean, our, no my, yorkie would spend the day playing. By the way, if you are ever in Halifax NS with a small pooch, be sure to check out Petite Urban Poochhttps://m.facebook.com/petiteurbanpooch/, fantastic staff, and a great playful atmosphere for your fur baby! Once Bean was happy playing we headed over to the IWK to begin this adventure.
M and Bean leaving Hotel
Lil buddy Bean
Bean at daycare
M remained in great spirits, she started to get a bit nervous as we sat in the day surgery area waiting for her nurse. She was fortunate to have her brother, ML ( son of my ex husband from his previous marriage) and his wife, TL, from Cape Breton, surprise her by coming to be with her! They were great to have around as they are very comical and are always fun to have around! Once we arrived at day surgery, and they called her in, we were given a room where we would meet with all the team that would be in the OR that day with her. The room was pretty full of her cheering squad that consisted of M, her dad T, her sister J , (who M is starting to look more and more like! )her brotherML, his wife TL, me and my fiancee. She certainly was well supported that day, and all the staff was great with all of us there! She changed into her wonderful Johnny shirt and then the visits began. The OR nurse came in to check all of her data in the system, and we signed the consent form. In preparation for the IV’s, she would be needing the nurse applies a numbing lotion on the backs of both of her hands, which she was really thankful for. The surgeon, Dr. El-Hawary came in to go over the procedure once more, he stated she would be in the OR for about 3-4 hours and then once she was awake enough we would be able to see her to recovery room staff would call us. Dr. E is one of the most calming, comforting and confident doctors I have ever met. He reassured us all, including M that all would go great, and he had no concerns at all! The anesthesiologist on that day was not the same one we had met earlier, today was an older German gentleman who we were told was very nice, but very short and to the point. LOL, We weren’t really sure how to take that, but it turned out he was wonderful, very quiet and to the point but had a neat sense of humor and a very calming and reassuring personality. By this time it was getting close to 1130 am which is when she was going to be going into the OR, the nurse came back to let us know that they were running a bit behind, so it would be about another 40 mins until they came for her. Ugghhh.. now she was really wanting to eat, and honestly so were most of us! Noone really wanted to eat because we felt bad for her not being able to eat! Kind of crazy I know but I’m sure some of you out there will relate!
Waiting to be called in
waiting waiting waiting
OR Nurse and M
Numbing cream being applied
Sisterly love…
Ugggg I dont wanna wait anymore!
The nurse finally came to say they were ready! No turning back now, off she went! She was a bit nervous, and I was insanely nervous, but think I hid it well. No real tears from either of us and for those of you that know me, know I cry at everything! I managed to keep the tears away! I knew if started I wouldn’t stop, this whole adventure has been such a roller coaster of emotions. She hugged the bear that TL had given her and off she went to the OR, yep even at 16, sometimes a soft cuddly bear is just what the dr ordered! It was the staff that suggested the bear fo with her into OR! That was awesome! Now the wait began for us! Her dad, ML, and TL remained at the hospital in the family waiting room, and J and I took off to the mall, to look for new jeans for J. I had a hard time leaving but knew if I stayed I would be overcome with anxiety, so off to the mall we went hopefully pass the time quickly. I was happy to have J there with me as I don’t get much time with her now that she doesn’t live at home anymore. So it was a good use of time for sure! Her dad provided updates from the hospital and that really helped ease my mind and let me better enjoy my time with J. It took about 2 hours to get M prepped in the OR and make the first incision to install the device. We made our way back to the hospital about 45 mins before Dr. E came out to tell us that all went well and we should be able to see her in about 20 mins. I remember seeing him come walking towards us, with a slight grin on his face and a Tim Horton’s coffee cup in his hand. For those who aren’t Canadian, Tim Horton’s is a must for many many Canadians. He looked so calm and relaxed. One would never think this laid back, coffee drinking, scrubs wearing guy, just finished changing life as they knew it, for 2 young girls today. He performed the same surgery in the morning before M’s! Let me tell you, that was such comforting news, and the wait would almost be over and we could see her!
M remained in great spirits, she started to get a bit nervous as we sat in the day surgery area waiting for her nurse. She was fortunate to have her brother, ML ( son of my ex husband from his previous marriage) and his wife, TL, from Cape Breton, surprise her by coming to be with her! They were great to have around as they are very comical and are always fun to have around! Once we arrived at day surgery, and they called her in, we were given a room where we would meet with all the team that would be in the OR that day with her. The room was pretty full of her cheering squad that consisted of M, her dad T, her sister J , (who M is starting to look more and more like! )her brotherML, his wife TL, me and my fiancee. She certainly was well supported that day, and all the staff was great with all of us there! She changed into her wonderful Johnny shirt and then the visits began. The OR nurse came in to check all of her data in the system, and we signed the consent form. In preparation for the IV’s, she would be needing the nurse applies a numbing lotion on the backs of both of her hands, which she was really thankful for. The surgeon, Dr. El-Hawary came in to go over the procedure once more, he stated she would be in the OR for about 3-4 hours and then once she was awake enough we would be able to see her to recovery room staff would call us. Dr. E is one of the most calming, comforting and confident doctors I have ever met. He reassured us all, including M that all would go great, and he had no concerns at all! The anesthesiologist on that day was not the same one we had met earlier, today was an older German gentleman who we were told was very nice, but very short and to the point. LOL, We weren’t really sure how to take that, but it turned out he was wonderful, very quiet and to the point but had a neat sense of humor and a very calming and reassuring personality. By this time it was getting close to 1130 am which is when she was going to be going into the OR, the nurse came back to let us know that they were running a bit behind, so it would be about another 40 mins until they came for her. Ugghhh.. now she was really wanting to eat, and honestly so were most of us! No one really wanted to eat because we felt bad for her not being able to eat! Kind of crazy I know but I’m sure some of you out there will relate!
Off they go!
The nurse finally came to say they were ready! No turning back now, off she went! She was a bit nervous, and I was insanely nervous, but think I hid it well. No real tears from either of us and for those of you that know me, know I cry at everything! I managed to keep the tears away! I knew if started I wouldn’t stop, this whole adventure has been such a roller coaster of emotions. She hugged the bear that TL had given her and off she went to the OR, yep even at 16, sometimes a soft cuddly bear is just what the dr ordered! It was the staff that suggested the bear fo with her into OR! That was awesome! Now the wait began for us! Her dad, ML, and TL remained at the hospital in the family waiting room, and J and I took off to the mall, to look for new jeans for J. I had a hard time leaving but knew if I stayed I would be overcome with anxiety, so off to the mall we went hopefully pass the time quickly. I was happy to have J there with me as I don’t get much time with her now that she doesn’t live at home anymore. So it was a good use of time for sure! Her dad provided updates from the hospital and that really helped ease my mind and let me better enjoy my time with J. It took about 2 hours to get M prepped in the OR and make the first incision to install the device. We made our way back to the hospital about 45 mins before Dr. E came out to tell us that all went well and we should be able to see her in about 20 mins. I remember seeing him come walking towards us, with a slight grin on his face and a Tim Horton’s coffee cup in his hand. For those who aren’t Canadian, Tim Horton’s is a must for many many Canadians. He looked so calm and relaxed. One would never think this laid back, coffee drinking, scrubs wearing guy, just finished changing life as they knew it, for 2 young girls today. He performed the same surgery in the morning before M’s! Let me tell you, that was such comforting news, and the wait would almost be over and we could see her!
There is no better feeling than seeing your baby girl.. lol, 16-year-old baby girl out from surgery! She was just as we were told she would be, groggy, emotional, and not quite herself! At the time, and still now, it’s hard not to chuckle at how groggy and all over the place she was! I was so relieved to see her, to see her sobs and hear her laughter, and crazy sedated thoughts she would share! She was teary and laughing and just a “sweet post op mess”!! Her biggest concern was the tape on her arm. She looked up and said, “is there tape on my arm?” to which I replied, umm yeppers there is some tape there. Her response,” Ohhhh man that’s gonna hurt coming off”! I had to chuckle, her biggest concern at that moment was the worry about having the tape ripped off!! No concern about the catheter still inside, no concern about the pain in her mouth from the tube they inserted during surgery ( and removed before she awoke), no concern about the 2 incisions in her back, no concern about the titanium rod that is now a permanent part of her ! So really life was pretty good for this post-op, emotional, silly gal! She had a bit of a blood blister on her bottom lip that we all, staff included, determined was from laying on the tube in her mouth during surgery and was nothing to be worried about. It kind of gave her a slight botox look on her lips! Lol, we laughed about that! After about 20 mins in the recovery area, the 7 Link staff came to wheel her to her room. Once settled in her room she was in good spirits, really groggy and spent the remainder of the day just sleeping. She was in quite a bit of pain as the night went on but was good at using the PCA pump to administer meds as she felt she needed. At this point, I was finally able to settle my nerves a bit knowing the hard part was over… for the time being. Living with anxiety makes settling and relaxing a bit of a challenge, to say the least. In my head, on one hand, I knew all would be ok, but then the anxiety sets in and starts messing with my mind. The pain she will be in, the struggles she will face with recovery, and a gammit of other useless worries that take over when they really shouldn’t be. So, as I leave her to rest, with her dad on night duty, I head back to the hotel to get some rest.
Feel free to subscribe to my blog so you can continue to follow this journey with us!! Great things will come I know it!!!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others!
The day has come, our bags are packed and we are headed to Halifax! Surgery day has arrived!
Hard to believe the wait is over. All the prepping, all the stretching and all the waiting is pretty much over. Dropped her off at school to write 3 .. yep…3 tests the day before she leaves! She has really been a trooper, not a lot of complaining, just a tad when naggy mom reminds her of the importance of the pre-op stretching, but otherwise, she is fully ready for this next adventure!
bent but not broken…..lets do this!
She had her last horse riding lesson for a long while last night. I think this will be the hardest part for her, not being able to ride! The girls from the barn gave her a card and some chocolates. I think that is when it really sank in for her, that the time is here! The card they gave her was absolutely perfect and fits her to a tee!
M and Echo
Trunk is getting full
Fuzzy blanket and pillow.. a must!
Tough Cookie!
Mom, on the other hand, is keeping it together somewhat, but am filled with anxiety, worry, and just plain ol mom emotions! I am super grateful she is being offered this new procedure (http://apifix.com/en/), and I’m sure it goes without saying that anyone in their right mind would have their own bag of emotions as one of their babies prepares for this big surgery!
I am sure the next week will be filled with many more rollercoaster emotional rides! Spending time with my 2 girls, many hours at the hospital, visiting with family in the city and a trip to visit my fiancee’s mom for her 80th birthday, while my daughters father pulls single parent duty for one night! That is providing that all goes well and mom can pull herself away for a mere 24 hours!
Next post will be post op, and hopefully filled with much good news to pass on! Asking for well wishes and strength from you all until then!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and as always, look out for others!
Well, for those who have been following my blog, you know that we have recently returned from seeing my son and his girlfriend in Edmonton, and now are gearing up for my daughters Scoliosis surgery at the IWK in Halifax.
To say it has been an emotional rollercoaster doesn’t even come close to describing what has been going on in my heart and my head. One thing I am really starting to realize about parenting is this; nothing really prepares you for when your kids grow up and start their own lives. When kids are younger we always talk about the days when our little pain the butts grow up and finally leave the comforts of home. We spend a lifetime trying to prepare our little bundles for the big bad world, but what do we do to prepare ourselves to let them go? 2 of my kiddos are now out on there own. I can honestly say that I am so super proud of both of them. Both have gone through struggles getting on with this next chapter, which they have met with such maturity that I just can’t help but think that somehow we have raised them well. This is despite all the bad mom moments I have totally beat myself up over.
it’s crazy how watching our children grow can be the greatest yet toughest moments of our lives…
As I spent a week with my son and his girlfriend, I experienced so many mixed emotions about so many things in life. I reflected on our days gone by, I reflected on the rough days and the fantastic times we also have , which I am really truly grateful for, with my youngest still at home. She is 16 going on 40, I’m sure many can relate to that phase!! I have really had a great sense of peace as I reflect on how well they are all really are doing. However, I also miss the younger days, the days when we were all living so close to each other. Now I face a 4.5hr drive to see my daughter, or the plane ride to travel to the other side of Canada to see my boy, or the anticipation of where college will take my youngest next fall. I am enjoying the thoughts of them all being out on their own and enjoying the next chapters in life, on the same hand it is kind of scary preparing for my own next chapter, being a parent of three grown children. It is such a whirlwind of emotions, that I am truly grateful for and honored to be experiencing.
…pause…two…three…now continue…. always remember to take time for you..xo
I am learning to embrace every moment of every day and to just slow down and really look at what is important, something I wish I would have learned earlier in life. Rather than pouting and being miserable for the past I am working so hard at enjoying each day and being thankful for the experiences life has given me so far. The good, the bad and the ugly. When it all comes down to it, life is happening each day, so its best to just embrace it and focus on the things you can control and not worry about the things you can’t. I work to find peace in each day and in knowing that no matter what, I will always be Mom to my babies and that no amount of worry will help them or me.
Bundles of joy way back when
Me and my joys
lovin’ the smiles
Oh my kids… lol love em to bits
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and as always, look out for others! xo
I truly am no professional writer or poet. These words came to me after losing my second born child. It really tells my inner story. Sadly, I’m sure other moms in similar situations can relate. Now don’t get me wrong, my arms have been full of life and love in this lifetime, but a part of those arms will always remain empty, the place where Claudia would have filled.
Fantastic news Baby 2 on the way A big brother soon to be. Excitement grows each day Belly grows each day Million dollar family Soon to be.
Days go by Emotions are growing Baby is growing Belly is growing Smiling faces greet you Each day the bump gets larger Monthly Dr visits become weekly Belly is quite large Dr says “let’s do some tests … just to be safe” Inner smiles start to fade Outer smiles are forced, Emotions are intense, All over the place. What ifs take over Tests results take forever. Inner thoughts are battling Telling yourself things will be fine. The call comes. The unimaginable There’s too much fluid Something is wrong Tests and more tests Playing with emotions like only Empty arm moms can comprehend Empty arms moms How can one even being to imagine Belly still growing Baby still kicking Baby still very much alive Reality is, baby will never come home. Big brother he won’t be Mom to be, of an angel baby Smiling faces still greet you Strangers meaning well Uncontrollable crying inside Visions fade Hopes and dreams fade Anger sets in Strength fades away Belly still growing A soccer player inside A lifeless body outside The end is near A painful end. The day arrives, The day we long for The day we dread facing I need to stay strong No one knows the pain The emptiness The excitement felt Is unexplainable A beautiful girl enters our world So precious So tiny, so much love So little time For a moment in time arms are not empty My heart is full of love She’s precious She’s alive She’s breathing Capturing hearts Creating memories to last a lifetime Tears flow Happy tears turn to Sad tears Minutes pass Smiles fade The end is near She’s struggling Losing her battle Reality sets in Her final breath 43 minutes of memories is all that remains Empty arms mom. That is now the reality Numbness sets in Days blend together Smiles are hard to find Emptiness inside Strong and courageous on the outside Defeated and numb on the inside Awkward encounters Empty arms moms What to say What to do How to carry on The days pass by The pain a daily reminder Life will never be the same Life has never been the same The heart loves a little deeper Emotions hit a little harder Memories remain Smiles return Life is precious No matter how short life is Memories last a lifetime Inner scars that never fully heal
Empty arms mom I will always be.
My baby girls obituary.. xoxo
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look our for others. xo
We headed up to Banff Gondola, for the evening. We decided we would wait and grab a bite to eat while at the Gondola, which turned out to be a wrong decision at this time on a Saturday night! The only option was some chips, peanut or chocolate bars at the gift shop. The restaurant at the top of the Gondola is reservations only, and it was fully booked when we inquired.
We wanted to go around sunset to see the Alpenglow Festival in the sky. Check out more official words on the Alpenglow Festival here, https://www.banffjaspercollection.com/attractions/banff-gondola/events/ We grabbed a couple of snacks, purchased our gondola tickets and made our way to the tram entrance. It was a very short wait with lots to look at as we waited. We were amazed at how quick the trams enter and exit the corral platform area. The four of us entered the tram and the worker closed our doors and we were off on our 2292 feet high ride. Well, let me tell you, none of us were expecting the blast off out of the gondola building. We all said a few not so family friendly words and then started laughing!! The view was amazing and we had the 8-minute tram ride to really soak in all the beauty around us. The ride itself, once you get going doesn’t really seem all that fast now. It is enjoyable. Well for 3 of us it was! My son, the Combat Engineer who jumps out of fully serviceable planes with a parachute for a living, was not a huge fan of the 8 min ride. So, of course, being the loving, supportive family we are, we had to give him a bit of a hard time about that. He really did great and began to enjoy the views. You can see the entire town of Banff and all the mountains surrounding Banff, it was truly breathtaking. We reached the top and we began to explore the Gondola summit, the building is beautiful with a lot of exhibits, displays, and a gift shop, there is also a Starbucks as well but it was closed, just like the one at the Gondola base was. We strolled around a bit and then headed out to the boardwalk to make our way to Sanson’s peak
View from gondola
The boardwalk
Peace
Snowy Sanson Peak
Beauty as far as the eye can see
Looking up a boardwalk
Maddi gazing
Boardwalk steps
Boardwalk
Boardwalk
More boardwalk
Beauty and the Trees
Love this kid
So many smiles
Me gazing
On the ride up Sulphur Mtn
Getting onto Gondola
Smiles
This peak is named for Norman Sanson, who would walk, every week, for 30 years to check the weather up until 1945. He was 84 years old when he stopped. He recorded his data in a stone building still located on top of Peak. The boardwalk was phenomenal, with lots of lookout points, steps, and turns, none of which Norman would have had way back then. The journey was so breathtaking, the temperature dropped about 10 degrees along the way. We took a bunch of photos and took in so much fresh mountain air , really just taking in all the views. It was pretty clear and flat walking along most of Boardwalk, with only a few icy patches, that could easily be avoided as long you were paying attention.
Along the Boardwalk
Looking up Sulphur Mtn in Gondola
Another view of where we’re going
Sanson sun
Peeking inside on top of Sanson peak
Highest view
It was icy there this day!
Looking out from Sanson Peak
Alpenglow Sparkling and 2 of my favs
Drink Menu
Alpenglow Sparkling and Moi
Love the smiles
Phillip Alexander Nugent
Winter Ale
Alpenglow Festival
When we got back to the Gondola summit, Phillip Alexander Nugent was playing live music in the area that overlooked the great sunset, he was really good. https://www.phillipalexandernugent.com/. Be sure to check him out if you are ever in the area. We browsed around the inside of the Summit. There was a small with an Imax type film, it showed a short, bird’s eye view film of the sights surrounding Banff in all 4 seasons. There were interactive structures and some short videos clip walls. I have only a few pics of the inside, as I somehow deleted them, or never really took them, I have no clue what happened with that. (Struggles of being not very tech savvy!) Once we sat down for a drink and to take in some music after browsing, Lorena and I tried the Alpenglow Sparkling, it was very tasty, bonus too, it came with cotton candy. Bren had an Alpenglow Winter Ale, from The Grizzly Paw Brewing Company! We watched people gather s’mores sticks and head out to the outdoor patio to roast their s’mores at the great little fire pits outside. We chose not to do that, not huge s’mores fans, but it was great to see. The younger kids there seemed to love it, as did the young at heart. As the sun began to set the colors on the mountain changed so often, it was such an amazing, calming and peaceful sunset or Alpenglow, I’m still not sure what was what. The picture really don’t to it justice, but hopefully will give you enough to know you must add Banff to your bucket list.
Banff was Canada’s 1st National Park 1885
Whitebark Pines
Sulphur Mtn Sign
Safe Travels
Sundance Mountain Range
You have arrived! Highest point on Sulphur Mtn
Space Science on a Mountain Top
Cosmic Ray Station
When the Sulphur Mountain Observatory, way up top, where Norman Sanson would record the weather weekly was no longer needed, the location seemed to be ideal for a Cosmic Ray Study Station.
Video wall
Inside theatre
Gondola Summit Sign
Map of entire Summit building
View from Summit balcony
Sun pod ontop of Summit building roof
BBQ pit for s’mores outside
View of Gondola track
Another view, can’t get enough
BBQ pit with fire.. lol
BBQ pit with Bren in the distance
The sunset and Alpenglow colors
Tram coming in
Gazing
Tram guy!
View from gondola
We made our way back to the tram line up to catch the bus back to town and finally find some food! All of the staff at the gondola were super friendly, the guy who loaded us into our tram was super smiley and made us all smile! Well, remember I said how fast the tram car left the platform on the ride up? Well, the ride down was way crazy faster. I was videoing as we were leaving, I must warn, the video does have some profanities in it, we tried our best not to, but a few just slipped out! Sorry to all that don’t want to hear that, but if you can mute, you should be ok!! The sun was set on the ride down, this allowed us to see more of the twinkle of lights in Banff and surrounding areas. We took a few more photos at the base before hopping onto the great transit system once again and headed back to the hotel for some eats! I love riding the buses in Banff, so many tourists and so many accents to hear.
Good ol fashion binoculars
It says stay away…
Going down
The tram cables
Banff in the day
At Gondola Base
Display at Gondola base
Bren and Lorena on Gondola up
Piggyback me says Lorena!
Join us at The Meatball for our late supper adventure at the Banff Ptarmigan Hotel, our check out day and the trip to the Hot Springs, where we soak up the sun and take in more mountain views from the relaxing Hot Springs!
Some videos have foul language. Please mute if you prefer!
We tried our best to keep all videoing foul language free, but some just slipped right out!
Going down the Gondola, LANGUAGE WARNINGGondola again, and again LANGUAGE WARNINGGondola coming into Corral at top of MountainView from BoardwalkInside the SummitInside the Summit, a Cougar video wall
Be sure to subscribe to my blog at the right, or look for subscribe box, so you won’t miss out, still so much to share from our whirlwind Banff visit!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others.
After a yummy breakfast, and a wonderful sleep after a long day of flying we are off to Banff via Gasoline Alley. We must stop and try what my son described as the world’s best milkshakes! The drive was full of lots of laughs, lots of catching up, lots of me realizing how much I love the West.
Large bag o fries
mmmm yummmmy!
Pina Coloda Milkshake smile
Made it to Peter’s Drive-In http://www.petersdrivein.com/ in Gasoline Alley to find a massive selection of Milkshakes! Perhaps 25-30 listed!! Oh my.. Decisions decisions!!! Oreo coconut was my son’s choice, he just had to throw the Oreo in so his girlfriend couldn’t steal any because she’s Celiac LOL. Lorena opted for the cocoa mocha, Maddi went with a peach milkshake, which had real peaches in it, I went for the Pina Colada. I figured if I can’t be down somewhere warm I may as well have a pina colada and pretend I am. It was amazing, by far the best milkshakes we have ever had. We also ordered a huge bag of fries. Top Notch fries that were hands-down the best fries ever. With full bellies, we made our way Westward again headed towards Banff.
Mountains far off in the distance
Such a sighty
HUGE hay bails in Alberta!! lol
My first glimpse of the mountains far off in the distance just brought me so much peace. It was such a beautiful sight the pictures just don’t do justice. Trust me, it was lovely beyond words. Shortly after entering Banff National Park we spotted a few elk along the way but didn’t stop for pictures. We made our way to the hotel we were staying at, The Banff Ptarmigan Inn. https://banffptarmiganinn.com/ Super easy to find on the main drag. I went to check us in and was met by a very polite, friendly and welcoming young gentleman by the name of Jessia. The hotel at first glimpse is just like the website had shown. I was very very happy.
My boy waiting for bus
Hotel lobby and bar
Parkade enterance
view from our room
zoomed in view from room
looking down at restaurant The Meatball
After parking in the underground Parkade, which has a low clearance, but still tall enough for full-size trucks, we made our way to our room. lol
First thing was to collapse onto one of the queen-sized beds, super comfy!! Room was nicely decorated. The beds were amazing and the pillows were like heaven. It is super great for pets, we had planned on taking my grandpup Bailey, but ended up not taking her last minute. The room was ready for Bailey with a pet bed, dog dish and dog treat in the room when we arrived. The one thing we weren’t aware of ahead of time was the option to have a dog walker/sitter come and spend time with Bailey while we’re out. There is a great brochure int the room with all the details but we did not know this ahead of time!
Brochure for pet owners
Welcome Pets
Waiting for bus
After relaxing for a bit we hopped on the bus down to the Banff Gondola. The hotel provides free passes for the public transit, it was super easy to use and the bus stop is right in front of the hotel!
Be sure to check out the next blog! Banff Gondola! It will be under the This n that tab once again! You won’t want to miss some amazing pictures showing the true beauty of this part of western Canada.
Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others.
She was quite sore and tired. A broken night of sleep as the nurses came in every couple of hours to give her her meds and to move her in the bed so she wouldn’t get sores and to keep her more comfortable. The staff were great and very supportive and comforting to her.
