Category: The Blog

My stories for you from the heart.

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Apifix.. take 2

I am so stumped on how to start this one. Sitting in the family waiting room at the IWK in Halifax, waiting for some sort of detailed update, some sort of comforting words to reassure me my girl is doing ok on the operating table today. It’s been almost 2 months since we were last here. Last time I was preoccupied and doing retail therapy with my other girl as my daughter’s father and his son and daughter in law sat here waiting. Today it is just me and my laptop. I am ok with that, It is peaceful in a sense and I am having some ME time. Some ME time with the greater portion of my mind being in the OR with her.

You see today is the revision surgery day, the day we were not hoping to have. The day every parent dreads when things don’t medically go as planned. We all know though that with medicine and surgeries the unknown is always there. The Apifix surgery to fix her Scoliosis is detailed in previous posts you can see here.

We have the best of the best working on her. That is helpful to a point. As a super worrisome mom, ( is there any other kind of mom really?) LOL I am so proud of the outer strength she has shown to date. Inside I have no idea how she is doing, what I do know is that inside I am a mess. I have so many mixed emotions going on inside. I can’t help but feel the Dr this morning seemed super nervous. But heck, how could he not be! He is a man of great strength working as the only Dr in Canada doing this procedure. It is amazing what he is doing and although I am a bundle of nerves, there is no doubt in my mind she is in the best possible hands she could be in.

We arrived early this morning and things flowed so smoothly. Into her room in Day surgery just like last time. Then the parade of nurses, the anesthesiologist ( Jess from Australia, she was awesome) more nurses, more questions, repeat questions.. lol, then the Lab came for bloodwork, the first of many needle pokes for her today! 🙁 Next came the wonderful Jonny shirt and then the Surgeon. Things got real now.

He explained the consultation with numerous of his colleagues from the US and Isreal. All of whom are the best of the best concerning Apifix. They looked at her X-rays and CT Scans providing input into what this day would involve.

How would they best attack this revision surgery and how to get a successful outcome for this Apifix surgery! He reassured that all involved were confident that a solution is possible, it would just depend on what route to take once they get back inside her back.
It seemed much scarier this time, for myself anyways. The risks associated, yes there are always risks when it comes to surgery. Today it just seemed to hit me harder. I hope a blood transfusion isn’t required, the screws they are working with are close to blood vessels, so the risk it there.


So as I continue to sit and wait, let me share some ways to keep you grounded and your mind from spinning when faced with situations like this:

  • Go for a walk
  • Read a book
  • Journal
  • Nose breathe ( click here to see more on this)
  • Play a game
  • Remind yourself you are a great person, times like this always seem so hard on the mind and we begin to question our worthiness
  • Eat, yes you need to fuel your body and mind to handle the stresses!
  • Limit the coffee or caffeine intake. Your nerves don’t need any boost of stimulation, they are already going full out!
  • Meditate, yes you can meditate anywhere!
  • Talk to a friend
The waiting is the hardest part!

Finally, I see his face. The surgeon that is!

It’s about 30 mins later then they said for the end time. My nerves were certainly starting to get the best of me at this point. Luckily I had done many of the points above to keep me grounded for the past 3-4 hours. My good friend who works at IWK came and sat with me for a few minutes on her break, her timing couldn’t have been better. I was starting to spin and my mind was playing with me. Her face was a calming welcome and we shared a bunch of laughs and she really got me grounded once again! Love the power of friends and laughter! xox

He had the look of satisfaction on his face, He was so relaxed, and had the best news ever! The surgery went better than expected, with no complications, no excessive blood loss, and the revision went very smooth. The feeling of gratitude I have this amazing team is indescribable! Now to continue my wait until she into the recovery room so I can see her! As I waited I messaged everyone and passed on the great news! It was as if I had won the lottery, the feeling of our joy! LOL, now back to the healing process once again!

She was much more alert and awake coming out of surgery this time! She was still quite teary as she was waking up, but was very alert and loving the peach popsicles! Her lips were still a bit swollen from the breathing tube, but no bruises like last time!


The best part for about this time around was NO CATHETER!! lol, She looked at me and said in a whisper voice ” I don’t think I have that pee thingy this time!” Her eyes lit right up and she was extremely happy! LOL, It is the simple things in life we take for granted! Like being able to get up out of bed to pee! 🙂

Her nurse from 7th floor, where she would be calling home for a few days, came to wheel her up. Off we go, luckily I am a pretty going stretcher driver! NO accidents and smooth sailing!

We had been joking before that we had hoped to have a better view from her room this time! Well my goodness, did we ever!!

Fast forward to the following day!

My nerves have now settled and I am so very thankful for all the support we have received. Mama slept like a baby last night, for a couple of hours at a time! lol
The first full day after surgery was amazing! She has been up walking around and is in great spirits with not much pain at all. The Dr was in and showed us the before and after xrays, he was very happy with everything. This helped keep me calm and relieved!

Fingers crossed that this will be the last of the surgeries for a great long while!

Can honestly say, she will not be missing this pole that has been her side kick!

She is still on continuous pain meds via the IV with the hope to wean off that in the morning and switch to pill form instead. This is kind of scary from a mom’s point of view, I worry how the pain will be, but I know she will handle whatever comes with strength and determination as she always does.

Day 2 after surgery, (2nd full day)

The best morning so far in her eyes, they are stopping the continuous flow pain meds and switching to a pill form. This is the first step in releasing her from all the wires that are keeping her confined to this lovely but not no lovely building called the IWK! It is a great place but she is ready to go home! She can even go outside for a bit today!!! WOO HOOOO Depending on how her pain goes, all the wires and tubes may be unhooked as early as tonight!! She is happy about that for sure, but also we are hesitant as to how the pain will be! Either way, she has been a rock star and is doing amazing!

Day 2 post surgery and off for more xrays !

Day 3 after surgery

She is still doing amazing. I am such a greatful mama! The night went very smooth and she is adapting so well to being off the IV meds! The Ortho team was in and gave her to go ahead to go home!

We had met some great people while here again this time. It can certainly tug at your heart strings seeing all the little kiddies with medical issues. So many little babies and my heart goes out to all of the families. Maddi had a great little fella next door to her. He was about 2 yrs old and had been in surgery the same time as Maddi. He was a little trooper as well and a real heart charmer! After the 2nd day he let me play with him in the hallway, with his light up paw patrol ball!! It brought me such joy to see his smiley face as we interacted!

I also need to share with you the awesome folks in the Ronald McDonald house located within the IWK! What a great thing! They have a great family room and arts and crafts for families to use. They have a great kitchen that families can use, bring in your own food and cook it up just like a real home! So nights they have volunteers come in and cook meals for the families at the IWK! What a welcome surprise this was for the night of her surgery! I hadn’t ordered anything for supper and was quite hungry!

Thanks to the volunteers I got to enjoy a piece of homecooked quiche, and ham and real veggies!! Fresh and full of flavor!

This is such welcome news as she is beyond ready to go home! She has been in such good spirits while in here but is going stir crazy, so for her overall wellness, ( and mine as well! ) We are glad to be heading home!

Final thoughts now that we are home!

This surgery recovery has gone so much smoother with less pain than the first one! The Ortho team is greatly impressed with how everything is going and we can only continue to keep our fingers crossed that this will be the adjustment needed and this will be the last surgery for quite some time!

So for now, it’s take it easy at home time. Less than 2 weeks until her grade 11 final exams.

Study, study, study will be her thing! That will be a joyful time!! LOL, Luckily she is pretty dedicated and on top with her study habits and is pretty confident that the exams will be ok and will pull off passes for all her courses!

See ya’s all in 6 weeks time after her second 6 week check up! Please send prayers, good vibes, whatever it is that you do when strength is needed, send it her way my friends. If you need good vibes sent your way, reach out and let us know, we love sending good vibes out!

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! XO

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Reason’s YOU can’t Yoga, and why YES you CAN !

So many folks have never given yoga a try, that is sad. Hear me out before you run away please!! LOL I was one of those for many years! DARN do I ever regret not trying it sooner!!! There are so many excuses people use. I understand trying new things can be scary!!! BUT not trying new things is not healthy for your heart, body or mind!!

For all you negative Nelly’s out there ( no offense to Nelly’s who are not negative!! LOL ), here’s a small list of reasons you may have for NOT TRYING YOGA!!!  As well as my responses showing how,  YES YOU can! You know you love me!! Keep reading, your mind, body and heart may just love ya for it!!

Disclaimer, be sure to listen to your body as you try any of these links below, start slow and easy! Talk to your doctor if you have more questions!

JUST BE SURE TO START!!!

Excuses, and ways to start NOW!!

  • I’m not flexible enough ! Yep I get it, There are lots of moves I can’t do either. SO WHAT!!! lol Can you sit and place your hands on your legs? YEP you can, so you can do yoga! 
  • I’m not skinny enough ! Ummm excuse me?? Where is it written yoga is only for the ‘skinny’???? NOWHERE, that’s where!!. Again I ask you, can you sit and touch your legs? Awesome try this little yoga routine.                YES YOU CAN
  • I don’t have time. Uggggg this is such an excuse for way too many things. Do you wake up and reach for your phone/tablet/computer? Try swapping out even 5 mins to do a quick yoga routine like THIS one to kick start your day in a positive way.
  • Yoga is just for girls! OH NO YOU DON’T! How dare you be so close minded! lol 🙂  I’ve seen the biggest, tattooedest, bearded rough guys do yoga( with pride) ! Some of the best built male bodies do yoga and know how much it can help their regular workout routine! Check out some of the videos here and see for yourself, tough guy!! 🙂 
  • Yoga won’t help me with my breathing, or breathing is just something we do automatically! Check this out my friends! 
  • Yoga won’t help my PTSD or other Mental Health struggles!! Well, I beg to differ my friend!! It may not work for all, but I bet if you give it an HONEST chance and do some practices you will see a difference in your own Mental Wellness! 🙂 Watch this one to hear more.
  • War Veterans don’t do yoga ! This it totally not true! Watch what this US War Veteren who lives with PTSD has done!

So my friends as you can see Yoga really is for everyone! It just takes a second to see what will work for you! I challenge you all to take just 5-10 mins each day to try a NEW practice and see what happens after just a few days!

Skip that silly video so and so posted late last night, try a 5 min yoga practice instead.

Will it really matter if you don’t get to click the like button on a funny Facebook post because you CHOOSE to do something for your mind instead with that time?

So what if it takes you an extra 5 mins to get that reply sent, 5 mins of mindfullness can be much more beneficial to your over all health!

Even with pets YOU can yoga!

There you have it my wonderful friends! Get yourself going and try a PRACTICE!! Yoga is called a practice, because each time you do it YOU ARE PRACTICING!

It is not something you master in 5 minutes or 5 days. It is something that you do for YOU each and every time ! At your own pace!

I hope this helps you decide to give it a try!! Let me know down below in the comments!! 🙂

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo

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6 Week check up..

Welcome to you all! If you have not seen the other posts regarding our curvy journey and Scoliosis please click here and have a read!

The week leading up to her 6 week follow up brought more pain in her left side. A tingling numb sensation. At this point, she was off of all pain meds and was using Tylenol or Advil for her pain.

She had been doing all her stretches except the door ones and the floor with roller. They seemed to be getting more difficult and the pain was a bit worse so I was relieved to be heading back for a checkup. I was not overly concerned, and certainly wasn’t expecting the results we would receive.


It has taken me some time getting this post together, my head has been in a whirlwind since her checkup. Luckily I had made pretty good notes that same day and the days following, so here we go! The bottom line is, revision surgery is required within the next 2 weeks. The top 2 screws have moved.

Waiting for xrays. Little did we know these smiles would soon be replaced with tears and lots of decisions. Soon after the xrays she were being rushed in for a CT Scan. The xray had showed that the to 2 screws has moved, but did not show enough details about what was actually going on. The first ct scan was done, but did not show enough of the blood vessels, so they had to use dye contrast to help get a better understanding. The tough cookie that she is went in for the ct all by herself, I waited in the waiting room. The 2 staff with her just amazing and really helped keep her in good spirits while they were getting the ct scan done. I was very thankful for that!

My mind during the wait….

” 1 hr sitting and waiting for the ct scan. My chest is just so tight, so much anxiety. Deep nose breathing as much as I can to keep myself grounded and as calm as can be. This is not at all what we were expecting today. Deep down inside the past few weeks I had a weird feeling about her recovery… uggg… moms intuition or just mom worrying? who knows? Please just get us some answers and make my baby girl ok.

After having the night to get a little bit of sleep, and some time to think about things a bit more in detail. I guess also once everything sort of started to settle in I’m realizing that this is just a wee set back.
We knew going into this journey that there is always the potential for things to take a different path than what we had anticipated. When you’re dealing with medicine and fairly new surgery, a lot of unknowns are to be expected. Things can sometimes veer off the original hoped for path.
Now although I’m saying that, my insides are still spinning. I know my daughter must have so many more emotions going through her as she’s the one living with this. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact, I just can’t begin to imagine what she must feel like knowing she has a device inside her that has shifted and is no longer sitting where it’s supposed to be. In all reality, it has the potential cause more pain and really we don’t really know what else at this point.
It’s comforting to know that between the doctor and the Radiologists they feel it’s not something we need to rush on right now( at the day of 6-week checkup). They feel that although the screws are not where they’re supposed to be there is no immediate danger of her spinal cord or her any muscles or blood vessels. They reassured us that it seems to be out of any harm’s way. Now, that doesn’t mean that we can just let things be. Obviously, some decisions have to be made and that’s what we’re going to be having heavy on our hearts and minds the next few days.
I should add right now also, Dr. El Hawary is away at a conference with all the Apifix folks the week before her revision. This includes the designer of the device and almost all doctors from around the world who have been involved with Apifix since the beginning. So although this is not the path we had hoped for, with requiring another surgery, we are so very fortunate that we know she has the absolute best team looking at her situation. When she goes in for the revision, we know that the plan ahead will have a lot of input from a very knowledgeable team. I think that fact is helping me deal with all this just a bit easier!

  • Waiting for Dr
  • The device

Here are the options presented:

  • Remove the device and replace it with the fusion option. Which is one solid rod with many many more screws securing it in place keeping her spine straight. ( this is the main go to surgery for scoliosis) It has been used for many many years.
  • Remove the device and leave nothing in her back and see how the scoliosis progresses on its own.
  • Do a revision surgery in which they will add a couple smaller rods and use 3 smaller screws (4mm) to secure to 2 different vertebrae. ( Originally there were only 2 larger screws 6mm into one vertebra)
  • Do nothing. Which is not a wise option.

My daughter is quite adamant that she’s going in for the revision. She wants to stick with this path an get the second surgery done as soon as possible so we can let the healing process begin again.
It just amazes me how strong she is really being, I’m sure she doesn’t quite feel as strong as I am seeing. I’m sure that deep down inside she’s a lot more scared than she’s letting on. As a mom sitting and watching her go through this it’s so hard. It’s hard watching any of your children struggle, knowing full well there’s nothing you can do to fix it. All you can do is be there for them. Support them, be the moral support they need and love and encourage them. Be that venting board when they just need to vent. Sometimes it’s hard to not take these venting sessions personally. I am fighting with that. I’m here to support her and to listen. I know the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the scared feelings she has, all of those emotions that she has are not geared towards me. Well, not most anyways!! LOL, So I let her vent. I try to keep my shield up so it doesn’t affect me personally and we carry on.

So that’s what we’re doing now, waiting for the revision.

Luckily going into this her school marks have been really good. The time she has been missing is making it very tough for her to keep her marks as high as they have been but she is persistent and is doing what she can. Hopefully, we can find a tutor soon and that will help her get ready for exams which are just a few weeks away.

Now for those who may wonder if we are happy with the decision she made to try this Apifix surgery, let me reassure you. We are still super confident in the decision made. We have the best of the best working on her and making the best decision possible to have a successful outcome after this revision. Has it been easy? No not at all, but we have no regrets. She is such a trooper and one tough cookie, I am so proud of all she has been through.

I have been in contact with a few other moms whose children have Scoliosis and talking with them has really been a world of help for me. If you or anyone you know may benefit from our story please share this. I would love to hear from anyone, the Apifix community in Canada is quite small, so please share and let’s build up this community if the need is there!

The next update will be after the revision surgery! In the meantime feel free to message here or email us at jensjourney73@gmail.com

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others!xox

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Evelyn – Last of her kind. A book worth your time!

Whenever I go for a walk or am out driving I love looking at things and wonder about the story they could tell. Maybe it’s an empty lot, an abandoned building, a statue or an object with no description. Do you ever wonder what stories surround it?

I find myself wondering all the time, ” geez I wonder what those walls could tell” when I see an abandoned house. It really makes me wonder. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking, or at least I hope I am not! Imagine what life was like for that period of time before it became abandoned. Well, today I want to share with you something that I discovered, a book and little history from pretty much my own back yard.

Image by Dani Myrick from Pixabay

I am extremely new to the little community we call home right now. I have no roots here but I know there is lots of history and lots of family tales to be told. I was at a local garage today getting the oil changed on my car. I look beside me on the bench as I waited and a book caught my eye. A beautiful face on the front, the face of a woman who has lived a long life. The title of the book is – Evelyn Last of her Kind-. I gazed through the book and looked at the pictures to start. WOW let me tell you, I was amazed and soon found myself fully into all her little stories!

This day I was hoping the oil change would take a long time! lol, It wasn’t too long but just long enough!! I was fortunate to be there long enough to flip through and read the entire book, taking in all the pictures, smiling the entire time.

Evelyn gardening, she always grew her thumbnails long, it made it easier to get the beans out of the shells she said!

Before I left, the lady who owns the shop made a comment about the book and we started talking. It turns out Evelyn, prior to being moved to a senior home and then her passing in 2016, she lived just down the street from where I live now. Her house has since been torn down. However, her lot is one of those places I often walk past and wonder, what stories it could tell. I had the privilege and honor of reading some of those stories about that lot in years gone by.

Evelyn in front of wood pile, with one of her pets!!

Evelyn wasn’t famous worldwide, but she was well known in her community. She was a hard worker and sounded like not only quite a woman but a one of a kind quite a human.

The book told of her life on the farm, it was just her parents, her and her sister. She worked on the farm from a very young age, doing the work that normally boys in the family would do.

Right up until she was removed from her home, she lived alone, with her Cat named Buttons, and 2 chickens. She would split her own wood in the summer, and haul it into her tiny home all winter by herself.
The book is a series of interviews done by the writer over a few years, it shares her stories about her love of farming, and being independent.

One of my favorite’s things from the book was on the back cover, which contained some quotes from her. Her words of wisdom.

One of my favorite’s things from the book was on the back cover, which contained some quotes from her. Her words of wisdom.

The world today has gone beyond the people. The people can’t keep up anymore.

Evelyn Chrtostoper

I loved thinking about how life was so much different when Evelyn was growing up. People don’t take the time for our elders as we used to. It really makes me sad to a point. It makes me wonder who will be the “Evelyn’s” of today.

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo

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Blog Challenge Day 29

Second last day! Today’s prompt is: List 10 things you want to be remembered for.

This is something that is really hard to put into words. It really made me look at who I am. I love this and I hope to hear from you guys as well!!!

  • A survivor, who lived a good life with a mental illness, and spoke out about the struggles with hopes of helping others.
  • I would love to be remembered as a compassionate person.
  • My grey hair! I always hate when the silver whites shine through, but eventually I will learn to love it!! If you’ve got it flaunt it, right!! lol
  • My love for my 1974 VW Westphalia Delilah
  • My eccentric fashion style! LOL Or, according to my girls, MY LACK of fashion sense!!
  • I want to be remember for helping others.
  • I hope I am able to be remembered as a good mom.
  • My quirky, sometimes simple sense of humor!
  • I want my love for the Canadian band “The Tragically Hip” to be remembered.
  • Finally, I hope to be remembered as a person who wasn’t afraid to admit when I was wrong and accept responsibility for my actions.

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo

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Blog Challenge Day 27

Almost day 30, so freaking proud I’ve stuck this out!!! Huge thanks to all who have followed!!!😜🤪💞

Today’s prompt is ; What’s in your purse!

  • Luckily for me my daughter has just finished cleaning out my purse not too long ago. LOL that would have been a really fun post that day. I’ll probably end up sharing some of what was in it anyways but for now let’s go through what’s in my purse.
  • Ticket stubs from the gondola in Banff when we were there in March
  • Multiple hair elastics yay I finally found them all. LOL
  • My wallet
  • My estrogen pills.
  • Allergy pills. I’m allergic to cats
  • It’s cool keychain that I bought but have not put keys on yet.
  • Airline boarding pass from our trip to Edmonton
  • A dime in the bottom
  • lip gloss
  • a pack of peanuts.. half eaten😜

That’s it that’s all for now. In the past my kids have always made fun of me because of the odd things they would find in my purse. Couple of things that come to mind are a small monkey wrench, a fork, and a spoon!!

I’d love to hear the craziest thing you’ve had in your purse or bag. Drop me a comment down below.

Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others! XO

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Blog challenge Day 26

Today’s prompt: What do you collect?

In the past few years I’ve really started to get rid of things. To have less t

materialistic stuff around. I was never much of a a big collector of many things. I did collect porcelain dolls for a while but as of right now, I would have to say I’m collecting pictures and memories.

I know that may sound cheesy – I want my kids and my grandkids and my great great great great great grandkids to have pictures of everything that life was when I was living.

Hopefully with these pictures that I’m saving will help to tell a story and it will help to have my family remember me. For my kids I hope that they will keep the pictures, always bringing happy memories.

I know my kids often resist when I want to snap pictures and I kick myself when I don’t take a million pictures. Really though,one day pictures are all we’re going to have. Pictures and memories. Memory is sometimes hard to rely on and pictures are great because they really do tell us a story that sometimes even a memory just can’t.

So definitely now as I try to downsize and try to hold on to as little amount of material things as possible I really really am happy to be snapping pictures all the time. Creating folders of pictures that I will have for hopefully years to come that I can pass on.

To me right now in life that just seems like the most important thing that I can collect and keep to pass down to my family.

What about you? What do you collect ?

I love hearing about people’s collections. I know people that collect rocks, sea glass, motorcyles. I know eople that collect coffee mugs, heck I people that collect dust bunnies LOL okay well I guess maybe I collect those also!!

Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others.

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Blog Challenge Day 25

PICTURE POST TODAY AGAIN;)

Today’s prompt is;

What is your favorite part of your body, and why.

My Tattoo’s

I love each one as they all tell a story. A artistic display of my journey, if I do say so!


  • My babe in arms
  • When I need a reminder. Let it be
  • Butterflies.. change, hope and life
  • Eyes tell so many stories
  • My 1st tat over 25 years ago
  • Struggles
  • Canadian Military proud
  • My babies
A poem from when my baby died

Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xox