Today’s topic is “My 5 Senses” So, I could be boring and simply report that yes indeed I have my 5 senses, Sight, Taste, Hearing, Smelling, and Feeling, but where is the fun in that? Join me now I as tackle this sensory journey! Hope it makes you smile, FEEL good about something today!
Today I have seen 2 seasons all in one day! Imagine that eh? That never happens!! LOL, I started off the day by seeing the dreaded white stuff on the ground again. Yeppers a fresh dusting of snow. With a big sigh, I went about my day longing for spring weather. Fast forward thru the day to right this minute, I just saw an amazing spring sight, for those who live in a fishing community you will understand. A fishing boat headed to the harbor! This is a sure sign of spring, what a lovely sight! I also see the darn laundry pile from yesterday that still hasn’t folded itself 🙁
Morning snow
Afternoon boat hauling!
The “Pile”
Taste
Well now, let me tell you something! My daughter and I just had another Burger Love Burger. If you aren’t from PEI, you may not get too excited about that!! BUT if you do know PEI, chances are you know what Burger Love is all about! If not, check out the button below I am sure my words won’t do this burger justice but here it goes. Everything on the burger was super fresh, the hamburger patty was delicious, the lettuce was crisp the tomatoes were juicy. The sauce is on it super tasty, with not a lot of spice, but tons of flavor. The deep fried pickle on top was as fresh & crispy as could be. Huge shout out the chef and staff at Our Family Traditions, Tignish PE.h Now that I am home and in a slight food coma, I am enjoying a coffee with CBD Sativa oil and Kiss my Keto, MCT powder creamer. Today is a Timothy’s decaf hazelnut kinda day! And yes, I do recycle all the coffee pods! I know its still a big waste and I am looking for alternatives for sure
As I type, I can hear my little pooch Bean, snoring as he rests on the bed beside me. Well he was snoring before I moved to grab this pic! We are keeping my daughter company as she rests following her surgery. Above his snoring, I am listening to the voices on a Netflix series, Lethal Weapon. Ahhhhhhh, and now the sound of the furnace kicking in on this cool spring day!
lil Bean!
Smell
The aroma of my diffuser! One of the best things I have ever purchased for myself! I love the scents of the store Saje, my favorite one so far is Unwind. I’m out of that one at the moment so today’s choice is from Aura Cacia, Peppermint oil! So clean and refreshing. The scent is very uplifting but yet calming also!
Peppermint
My diffuser
Blue light kinda mood
Feels
Feels, this is a tough one. The first thing that comes to mind is FULL. My belly is so darn full right now! That is a happy feeling I guess!! Full belly and I didn’t have to cook! Deeper then that, I am feeling lots of things, its what I do! I am happy to be able to be spending some great chill time with my pup and my girl! I am feeling a bit frustrated and overwhelmed trying to figure out all this blog stuff. Pain, I have a small ache in my lower back, telling me it’s time for some yoga stretching soon. I feel content in my heart thinking about all the great things I have been blessed with in this life. I feel good about so many things, and I try to keep those good things in the front of mind, although sometimes the PTSD and the anxiety take over and give me a total feeling of exhaustion. But for now as I prepare to sign off, the main feeling I have is joy, happiness, and a sense of accomplishment, for finishing this blog post well before bedtime today!! And I feel the cuddles of my lil Bean as he jumps onto my lap!!
What are your 5 senses doing for you right now?
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others!
Today’s challenge brings me to look at my likes and my dislikes. This was really difficult to do! When it comes to really looking at me what I like and dislike, it’s a darn tough thing to write down! Once I got started it was kinda fun.
Likes
Comedies or documentaries. I like watching movies that make me laugh. I also like documentaries about health and about people and how things happen in other countries. I loved The Road Trick on Netflix!
Comfy hoodies. In my mind, nothing beats an oversized super soft comfy hoodie. Even in the summer months, I love the cool night when I can put on a huge hoodie. It gives me the feeling that a huge teddy bear has his arms wrapped around me.
Pepsi. Plain and simple. Ice cold can of Pepsi, it has to be a can or glass bottle, it doesn’t taste the same out of a plastic bottle.
The fall. I love seeing the changing colors of the leaves I love the cooler nights I love watching the sunsets in the fall I love walking through the woods and see all the colors. I love the warmth of the day and how it cools off just nice at night for bonfires and any other type of outdoor activity that might be available.
Peaceful people, when I say peaceful people the first people that come to my mind are yoga instructors. They always seem to have the calmest and the most relaxing or as to them. They just did exude peace and calmness. I don’t get me wrong it’s not just joking and structures that have that type of personality and give off that Vibe but when I think of peaceful people that’s the first people I think of. When I get worked up I try and train myself to look at how peaceful and how relaxing I can be even though my head is spinning I try to ground myself and bring that piece to me.
Vanilla bean lattes from Second Cup. I discovered these on our recent trip to the West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton and I fell in love.
Walks on the beach and feeling the warm sand in my toes. I love the sound of the Waves I love the sun glistening off the water I just loved the peacefulness and the No Stress feeling that comes with having your feet digging in the sand as you walk.
Tattoos yep I love being able to display people’s artistic abilities on this canvas ice call my skin. I love the fact that all of my tattoos represent something very meaningful to me. I love looking at other peoples tattoos and see the artistic ability that so many tattoo artists have and also hearing the stories surrounding what those tattoos mean to others.
It’s nearing lunchtime as I work on this list and today’s lunch is going to be bacon eggs and asparagus. This leads me to share the fact that I love bacon.
Homemade goodness!
Sticking with the food theme, I like to eat a ton of vegetables but I absolutely love a steak cooked just right and just right. For me the rarer the better! On the barbecue is the best.
Now onto my dislikes.
Horror movies. I can’t handle the fence are most horror movies. They got my heart racing, my mind gets going and it just messes with my head. I can’t sleep, I hear noises and it’s just not a good time.
Wearing a bra. My number to like was wearing comfy hoodies so to balance that like out I will say, I hate wearing a bra. I know I need to, lol, I just can’t find one that fits comfy. Guaranteed the first thing I do when I walk in the house after a day is a rip-off that darn bra.
Coke I can’t stand the taste of coke. Not out of a bottle or can, not fountains pop Coke either. Coke is just not my thing.
Spring messes. Now don’t get me wrong, I love everything that spring brings. I just dislike the messiness. I hate all the dirt on the roads. I hate all the garbage that comes in from all the lettering that’s been done over the winter. I hate the dirt. lol. I wish we could just go from Winter into one day of mess then have everything all switched over to summer.
Confrontation. Confrontation scares me with my anxiety going I can’t handle confrontation well. I will go out of my way to try and avoid confrontation. This isn’t really a good thing because I understand confrontation is a part of life and every day I’m working on trying to keep focused and trying not to let the fear of Confrontation get the best of me do paragraph 6. Espresso. I love a good coffee I love a latte every now and then but espresso is just way too much for me Kathy and gets me going and it’s just not fun. I love a little Cuts espresso comes and don’t get me wrong those are very cute but espresso but besides a little cop I really have no use for espresso just not my thing.
Crowded places. I get very claustrophobic my anxiety kicks in and I just don’t like crowds. Crowds of happy people are okay but in the malls, in the stores or anywhere where there are huge crowds of people it just is not my thing. Too many people, they get cranky, people just aren’t aware of other people around and I just don’t have time for crowded places.
I dislike people who judge especially people who judge those of us that have tattoos. Life is too short to be worried about what somebody else is doing so leave us alone if you don’t like the tattoos that’s fine but you can still be nice and you don’t need to judge.
Cooking bacon. Now I know I said I liked bacon. lol BUT I hate the greasy messy feeling that I get when I cook bacon on the stove. If I do have to cook it, I’ve started cooking it on a baking sheet in the oven. At least then I don’t have to worry about that slimy greasy feeling I get when I cook bacon on the stove.
And the opposite of my like for rare Steak. I strongly strongly strongly dislike liver. I remember back my nanny would always cook liver and onions and it just made my stomach turn I would try it and it made me feel like I was chewing on a piece of old smelly stinky disgusting leather and still to this day I can’t stand the taste of liver.
Thanks all for joining me on day 3 of this blog and learning a little bit more about me. Once again I’d love to hear some of your likes and dislikes. Comment on this post drop me a message on Instagram or Facebook and let me know some of your likes and dislikes.
Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others. XO
Today’s topic is something that has really been entering my mind in the past little while. Life, as I knew, is changing, and changing fast! We are starting to look at the empty nest years in the next few years. With that realization comes a lot of mixed emotions! I love how the challenge today helps me focus on the best of things yet to co
The first and foremost thing I want to have in 10 year?
Memories and pictures and stories to tell from my upcoming wedding! lol
My youngest is 16 and will be going into her final year of high school next year. This leaves my fiance’s daughter who has a few more years left of high school and then our kids are all grown up. So what happens then? The Empty Nest sets in!! Ahhhhhhhh!!
It's kind of exciting to think about but it's also really freaking scary.
PEI
PEI animals 🙂
Winter in West Cape PE
I know one thing for certain, I won’t be living in Atlantic Canada. As beautiful as it is, and trust me, it is beautiful! My time here is definitely coming to an end and it’s time to move on. I’ve never been one who likes to stay stationary for too long. Having been living on this island now for about five years, it’s really time to move on.
Looking forward 10 years, WOW, on one hand, that’s a long time, but in reality, time is flying by.
I’m hoping in 10 years time I will be a grandmother, although at this point in time none of my children seem too interested in having kids. That is ok for sure, they are all living their lives to the fullest each day! Fingers crossed that maybe in time that will change. Even if it doesn’t I will be a happy furbaby gramma I’m sure!
I also hope to be in western Canada, somewhat settled with a summer Residence in BC somewhere, and a Winter residence wherever the bare roads take us. Preferably somewhere with warm winters! I hope to be able to spend the winters somewhere. With that, we hope to purchase a motor home in the next 3 to 5 years.
I hope to have traveled to many many new places that I have yet to see. I have quite a list of places still to visit; Australia, I’d like to see Cambodia, maybe New Zealand. I’d like to do some type of South Africa trip and well, any of the places that I’ve only seen in pictures so far.
I hope to be continuing on this journey of mine, seeking out what brings me peace and what really makes me happy.
Looking ahead at the next chapter of those next 10 years, there’s so many mixed emotions, so many memories of days gone by when the kids were younger. Ya know, sometimes I think how simple life was in the past. The next minute I ‘m getting excited about the opportunities that still lie ahead for this new chapter.
It’s really a transition stage I think in life, the next five years anyway, while we continue navigating this road of parenting teen girls. I’m sure if any of you have teen girls you will understand the challenges of also huge joys. You know it, day-to-day excitement and the odd dramatic outburst.. lol, that comes with teenage girls.
It’s also really exciting having the opportunity to look forward to these next 10 years. We strive to live those next 10 years as if the next day is never guaranteed because, in all reality, tomorrow is never a guarantee. So it’s trying to live in the moment, trying to enjoy what you have right in front of you, but also still trying to balance that with a plan of where will I be in 10 years.
The question is, “Am I going to take control of where I want to be or am I just going to sit back and this journey takes me wherever?”
Either way isn’t really bad I guess, as long as that journey is taking me to places that bring me happiness and peace.
Am I going to take control of where I want to be or am I just going to sit back and this journey takes me wherever?
Me
Something else that I hope to be successful in the next 10 years is continuing my outreach and advocacy for veterans. More specifically, veterans with mental health issues. I hope to still be involved with the nonprofit peer support group, Brave and broken, that I’m involved with here on PEI. I would be wonderful if we can grow that peer support network to reach many other provinces and states. Basically, be able to reach out to veterans that are having a rough go. Be that listening ear, that voice of encouragement that they might need to get through the day. I really hope I can continue on with that, while still balancing my own head. It is a passion of mine and I look forward to seeing what will come in the next 10 years as I keep moving forward unless I keep exploring myself. Summarize things this is what life will look like in 10 years if I had the ultimate ability to write that next chapter point-by-point.
A. I will be living in a small but welcoming little house somewhere in western Canada.
B. I will hopefully have all of our children living relatively close to us however I know I can’t control that but hey if I had the opportunity to write it I would have all six of our children living within a couple hours drive to where we are.
C We will have purchased our motorhome and we will have figured out all the quirks and all the tricks of living on the road for six months out of the year.
D. I will have checked off a few places at least from my bucket list of places to visit those being Cambodia, New Zealand, Australia, Newfoundland, Saskatchewan, somewhere in South Africa.
E. I will be continuing on my journey to living a life that truly brings me joy I hope in 10 years time I will have a bit more confidence I will have a better grasp on what it means to live with PTSD and anxiety and also I will have gathered many more Tools in my toolbox and many more wonderful days living with my who will then be husband who also has PTSD.
F. I think the final thing I can include on this list is that my fiance and I will have had the opportunity over the next 10 years to reach out and meet veterans from all across the country and the United States as well and help out those in need. We are both veterans living with mental health issues and we know there so many veterans out there in the world that are struggling and are alone. We are very fortunate to have each other to help us on the bad days and to share the laughter on the good days. We hope to be able to take our traveling home and visit from town to town and hopefully reach out and meet some fantastic people. Hopefully, put a smile on somebody’s face for that day at least.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others, xo.
Today I made a post on my social media accounts about putting a sparkle in your day. Well, let me share with you all something that truly sparkles!
Rylee-Anne with 2 backpacks!
Meet Rylee-Anne Swinemar, a teenage girl from a small Nova Scotia town on a mission. Her mission is to attend Camp Courage. Camp Courage is a great opportunity for young women aged 15-19 who are interested in a career as a first responder.
In order to get accepted into this awesome camp, each applicant must write an essay on what they would do to improve the life of someone who is less fortunate. Once they have written the essay they must put their words into action and make it a reality.
Rylee-Anne has chosen to put together backpacks for individuals who are in shelters, and the homeless. With the help of her dad, Shane, and social media, she has received support from far outside of her small community. I don’t think I personally know her dad, but my fiance does, and we have mutual friends on Facebook. That is how I came across this firecracker of a girl!
How great is that, the world of social media is helping this girl fulfill her dreams!
She will continue collecting backpacks, personal items (see list below), and also monetary donations to help purchase and fill the backpacks until the end of April 2019!
At the beginning of May, Rylee-Anne, along with her family, will start the next awesome part of this adventure. They will be delivering the backpacks to the people in shelters throughout the Halifax area. Just the thought of the smile one of these backpacks can bring to someone going through rough times melts my heart and makes me smile.
If you would like to support her in this wonderful adventure, please contact her dad, Shane using the link at bottom. If you are not in a position to help financially, please share this, that is a great support as well!!
I will continue to follow Rylee-Anne as she continues this journey, and will provide an update once she starts the delivery. It is just amazing how much impact one idea, from one teenager, can have on so many people!
Rylee- Anne certainly knows how to bring sparkle to a person’s day!
Jen
Here is the list of things she is collecting for the backpacks, all items are to be brand new and still wth original packaging, except the backpacks, well loved and in good condition backpacks are welcome!
backpacks * hand towels
toothbrush and paste * hairbrush
unisex deodorant *bars of soap
towels *wet wipes(baby wipes)
face cloths *razors
sunscreen * small sewing kit
granola bars * small packages of tissues
toilet paper
Etransfers can be sent to Shane at swinemarshane@hotmail.com
If you want to reach out to Shane, her dad, via Facebook, click below
Ok my friends here I go, jumping in with both feet, and stepping even further out of my comfort zone! I have seen a few fellow bloggers doing 30 day challenges and I have loved reading them. They have really motivated to keep going and to keep searching for what feels right. I am happy to say that I think I have settled on a goal and am working on how to bring it to life. It’s going to be exciting and it’s going to challenge each and everyone who join’s me! SO be sure to follow me and don’t miss a thing!! I love the motivation and support that I am sharing BUT more so, what it is bringing to me! The desire to keep going! So thanks to you all!!
As you join me on this part of the journey, I encourage you all to join in whatever way you feel up to it!
I am a “To-do” Listmaker, but not so much a “To-do” List follower! I am good at making a list in the morning, and as the day goes on, I find new things to do, that wasn’t necessarily on that list. So, as I do something, I add it to my list and then cross it off! By the end of the day, I normally have had a somewhat productive day, but not always finishing the things that were originally on my list! Hey, least I’m being productive for some things, right?
I’m an only child.
I have lived in Canada my whole life. British Columbia, Ontario , Manitoba, Nova Scotia, and PEI. My favorite spot I have lived so far is West 4th Ave, Vancouver BC. 3 blocks from the water and a super trendy part of town, back in the early 90’s anyways!!
I have a 5 lb Yorkie dog named Bean. I hate to admit but I am kind of turning into a crazy dog mom. Bean has been to Doggy Daycare and he will quite often get new sweaters or jackets when I am out shopping. And yes I get mommy anxiety when dropping him off at daycare.
Valley Harvest 2017
Bean
Vancouver
5. I have been married once and divorced once.
6. I’m super duper emotional and I cry very easy over everything.
7. I own a Harley Davidson but I don’t have a bike license yet.
8. If you were to define me I think you could say I’m an empath. I pick up on people’s emotions quite intensely. I am often found listening to people’s trouble’s as it is said I am easy to talk to.
9. I love running, and have done quite a few 1/2 marathons, 5 and 10km runs!
10. I served for 16 years with the Royal Canadian Air Force as a supply technician. My postings included, Trenton, Ontario; Greenwood, Nova Scotia, and Shearwater Nova Scotia.
11. I absolutely love Pepsi but I’m trying to cut down so I’ve switched to a carbonated water called Bubly and I absolutely love it too. But sometimes nothing beats a good cold can of Pepsi.
12. I love Ellen, and try to watch her show everyday. I will quite often be in tears, either from laughing or crying or both! I love how she gives to people and recognizes everyday people ! It would be a dream come true to get to her show!
13. I love to travel and I absolutely love being in western Canada. Alberta and British Columbia are my two favorite provinces. Although I do need to get some more visiting into Newfoundland, and also to Saskatchewan to visit dear friends.have been to the following places in my lifetime London England as well as Blackpool and Manchester England when I was about 12 . I still remember the amusement park in Blackpool like it was yesterday. I have been to Dubai and Al Ain in the United Arab Emirates. I have been to Orlando Florida, Anaheim and Carlsbad California. I have taken a repositioning cruise with Princess Cruise Lines from Vancouver to San Francisco California, then traveled by Greyhound bus from San Francisco to North Dakota. I remember a group of ‘deadheads’ that I had met on that trip. I had no idea what a deadhead was until they explain that they were huge followers of The Grateful Dead. They were awesome and I was able to introduce them to the amazing music from the Canadian band The Tragically Hip. They had never heard them but absolutely fell in love with the music. I have spent time on Vancouver Island I absolutely love Tofino, it’s a beautiful Island. I’ve been to Vancouver British Columbia, Calgary for the Calgary Stampede and many many years ago. I strongly encourage you to take in the Stampede if you ever find yourself in Calgary at the right time! I spent many years in Winnipeg, Manitoba (my hometown) and as well in Headingley Manitoba just outside of Winnipeg. Headingley is home to Nick’s Inn, home of one of the best ever Burgers! I spent one week visiting Newfoundland Canada but definitely need to get back.
14. I work best under pressure, and often leave things to the last minute!
15. I get scared to death when I have to talk in a crowd. I’m really stepping out of my comfort zone with the slog and with the videos I’ve been doing but I think it’s for the best. It makes me uncomfortable but it also forces me to keep going and to look at what I really want from life.
16. I am engaged. He totally shocked me on Christmas Eve 2018. I had no idea that he was going to propose anytime soon. I was quite stumped that he managed to pull off the surprise because I tend to be super nosey!! LOL, It couldn’t have happened any better. It was a beautiful night and we were looking at Christmas lights in North Rustico PEI. He faked a sore chest then got down on one knee and now I have a beautiful ring on my finger and my best friend to spend the rest of my life with.
17. I own a bright orange hippie bus named Delilah.1974 VW Campmobile. I must point out as well, my two girls state they despise the bus. My son, on the other hand, has made it very clear that it is to go to him as soon as I tire of it. It’s fun owning her. When I’m out and about I’ll often find a note on the windshield from somebody asked me if I’m interested in selling or telling me it’s a really cool bus. She’s a great conversation starter. Owning her has also allowed me to meet quite a few other VW owners which is really kind of cool.
18.I’m petrified of snakes and bats. When I first started dating my fiance, he had one bedroom in his house and the door was always kept closed. It wasn’t until about three weeks after I had been going to his house that he revealed to me that behind that door was a great big huge massive white California King Snake, named Aerosmith. He assured me that it couldn’t get out and I managed to survive.
19.I help facilitate a peer support program for veterans on Prince Edward Island called Brave & Broken
20. The final random point I will share is, this whole blogging and social media and basically putting my story out there is scaring me to pieces. Even though it is scaring me to pieces, I really feel it is helping me to heal and helping me to look inside of myself to really sort out everything that has been jumbled in my head over the last forty some years.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
She was quite sore and tired. A broken night of sleep as the nurses came in every couple of hours to give her her meds and to move her in the bed so she wouldn’t get sores and to keep her more comfortable. The staff were great and very supportive and comforting to her.
Day 1 Post Op
In the morning, just like after surgery, her dad continued to make sure she blew on her little pinwheel every hour to help keep her lungs clear and encourage good air flow because of the heavy sedation she was under. Can’t really say she was a fan of this but she did it! The morning after surgery, physio came by to get her up. This was the first time she had been on her feet since before surgery. She was in good spirits but got a bit nauseated when she first sat up. Being the trooper that she is, she managed to get up and into the wheelchair. She wheeled herself out it to the hallway and then back to the bed. I was so impressed with her and so was physio! That was enough for now. Back to bed to rest now!! A well-deserved rest! The anesthesiologist was in and discussed his plan for pain management in the days ahead. She would stay on her continuous drip pain medication until at least the following day and she still had use of the PCA (patient-controlled analgesia) pump, if she needed. He stated that once she was able to come off the continuous flow she would still have the PCA pump to administer if she needed. It would probably be day three before taking the IV out, switching then to oral pain pills.
Honest, I’m not that short!
First time out of bed!
Look at her go!
Thank goodness for facecloths
The physiotherapist was back in in the afternoon and Maddi was wanting to get up and walk. She did a whole walk around one wing of the seventh floor. She did amazing, no dizziness and no feeling nauseated! I walked with her and physio, she felt quite tall, and pointed out how short I looked! Such a doll she is. lol, She shuffled along quite well. She said her back felt much different than it did prior to surgery. Being only the first full day after surgery she’s not eating much. They’re hoping that by the end of the day today she might be able to have a little bit more to eat than just the yogurt and what not but it depends on how she feels.
Day 2 Post Op
Yorkie visit
Up and outta bed!
It’s Saturday now, she’s still quite sore today and not really keen on moving around much. I got up to see her around 9, we were headed to my fiance’s mom’s 80th birthday if Maddi was feeling up to me being gone! I knew she would be fine as her dad was still with her, but the mom in me sure hated to leave her! I knew it would be all good, and I was looking forward to the visit!! She was very nauseated for a little bit. I think they had already started to slow down the background meds and she wasn’t wanting to use her PCA pump to do too often. She was waiting for her breakfast tray to come around 930, which consisted of juice, Jello, yogurt, and applesauce. She’s really looking forward to trying some food. But the closest she could have to real food, for now, was liquidy soft food. They keep that soft liquidy diet until such time as her tummy is making more noises, and they needed her to be able to pass gas before they would allow much food.!! So the wait began, for the glorious moment!! We got her up to the chair and she’s resting quite well before we left. She had a sneak in visit with lil Bean also this morning! I think that made her feel a bit better also! I felt bad for her, she was feeling pretty run-down. Anyone who has spent any time in a hospital can totally relate I’m sure. The not sleeping soundly because of all this stuff going on, the catheter still in and just not being at home in her comfy bed was all starting to get to her. She is hoping the catheter would come out later that day! It all depended on how she was getting up and around.
Off we went for our quick overnight birthday trip and left Maddi to spend the time with her dad. She texted me quite often while we were gone, which was super ok with as it helped to ease my worrisome mama bear mind!
They took her catheter out on day 2 as well which was very nice for her to have one less tube thingy to worry about! By Saturday night she was pretty exhausted and really wanted to be home so she could sleep! This was hard for me as I knew the best place for her still was right where she was! 🙁
Around 8 that night, I received a super great text from her!! Her tummy was finally starting to wake up and that glorious moment happened! Yep, she tooted!! LOL and that meant she could have some real food!! She was craving a bagel, of all things she could have, she wanted a bagel!!
By Sunday morning she was able to have a bit more sleep but was in a horrible amount of pain. Which was understandable as they were cutting back the pain meds and also she was starting to move a bit more now too. She had quite a tingling pain on her left side that would not allow her to lay on that side, so that was a bit worrisome. Time will tell what comes of that but they weren’t overly concerned at this point.
She finally got her bagel Sunday morning, which she thoroughly enjoyed!
She had a visit with my parents on Sunday afternoon, and managed to eat some stir-fry for lunch!
When I arrived late Sunday afternoon, she was doing really well. We wheeled down to the Subway on the main floor and she had 1/4 of a sub. She walked part of the way down and then felt too tired so I drove the wheelchair for her! 🙂 It was nice to have her out of her room that day!
Day 3 night went well with no major complaints just the usual trying to sleep in hospital complaints!
Hopefully day 4 will be going home day!! Stay tuned!!
Until next time my friends be kind to yourself and look out for others! xo
What to do when your emotions get the best of you and that hot mess of a person sets in and takes over your mind.
What about when you just get so much stuff in your head and you end up losing the ability to focus on self-care? It’s not that you don’t understand how important it is. We know that when we neglect ourselves we eventually, slowly, and painfully become an emotionally exhausted hot mess. Well, that hot mess is what you are getting today.
Sleep.. where are you?
The feels of me today|!
Poutypants
We all know how important self-care truly is, I’ve spoken about it before and will continue to do so even if I stumble and neglect my own self-care from time to time.
This past week, well honestly, the few weeks prior as well, have really played havoc on my mind. Things have been so busy with so many emotions! Good, bad, happy, ecstatic, lonely, regretful, confused, loved, hated, suffocated, and many more emotions!
“You get it, right?”
From the amazing trip out to visit my son and his now-fiancee in Edmonton, to seeing the beauty of the mountains in Western Canada and breathing that fresh air that is like no other, to the visit with my Aunt who I haven’t seen in over 20 years, to the trip to Halifax for my daughters surgery, to the trip to Church Point NS to celebrate my fiance’s moms 80th bday and meeting his sister from BC, to spending some time with my gorgeous redhead girl in Halifax, and now, being home as my girl recovers from her surgery, to say emotions have been running wild is to put it mildly!
Now don’t get me wrong, as much as I may sound pouty or ungrateful, that is the farthest from the truth you could get! I am beyond grateful for so many things and I think that is part of my problem too. There is just so much going on in my brain it is all like a bowl of cooked spaghetti noodles. All the noodles intertwined just like all the emotions. Imagine having a bowl of cooked spaghetti and how delicate those noodles are, try to pull just one out without breaking it, and then trying to finally focus on that one noodle. Well, I’m that noodlebrain these days.
Noodlebrain: Someone who is a bit confused…..
Urban Dictionary
Now, while I am great at offering suggestions to others who may feel like this, for me to do this for myself, well heck no, that just ain’t happening. BUT, it has to happen because no one can go on living like a noodlebrain forever, right? I need to say that because I know this is just a bump in my journey and there will be many more bumps but those bumps won’t last forever, nor will that noodlebrain feeling. So, despite the fact I really feel like I have don’t have the energy to carry on and to sort out this gosh darn noodlebrain, here I am venting at all of you and saying to myself, girl you gotta do this.
“You gotta do this, “
So for all of you who can relate to the noodlebrain feeling or the feeling of being too tired to carry on, I challenge you to look at you and why ” YOU, gotta do this” Try and put aside the noodle bowl mind for a few seconds at a time and really look at your OWN why’s. Despite that jumble of intertwined emotions, you are an amazing person and YOU have reasons that can help remind you of your own why’s.
Look at you, what are your reasons ‘Why’ ” YOU, gotta do this?
I am going to share with you some of my WHY’s, in case you need some help getting your own list going. These are just random why’s for me, not listed in any order of priority, they all carry there own weight. Bottom line is, it doesn’t matter what you’re WHY’s are, it just matters that you remember them and do what’s needed to keep going, to keep working on sorting those emotion noodles, with gentleness and grace, as slow as YOU need to!
Some of my ‘Whys’
A. My posts about our Scoliosis journey, have led to a fellow “scoliosis girl” mom in another province to reach out to me. I received a ding from my Facebook notification as I was stuck in my noodlebrain. Stuck hating life and wondering what my purpose is. Sounds dumb I know, but I really was in a dark place at that moment. Her message made my day and brought me out of that dark place. So, that WHY is because even in my darkest of times, simply by sharing stories in my blog, which forces me to stay focused, it’s connecting people with people in a great way that really helps.
B. Friends that really matter, those who can relate to the emotional noodle jumble need my noodlebrain! Yep, believe it or not, even when we feel like complete noodlebrains, chatting with fellow noodlebrains really helps. Those friends can help you realize that it really is ok, and that jumble can be dealt with, one emotion at a time. Noodlebrains, helping noodlebrains, one noodle at a time! Please laugh when you read that!!
C. Reconnecting with “long lost” family members, this is a huge one for me! nuf said on that one! I will hopefully elaborate on that WHY in a later blog!
D. My wonderful immediate family!! Daughters to be here for, sons too and a soon to be daughter in law too!! Weddings to be planned, mine and also my boys. Grand kiddies from my fiances family, that we get to watch grow and amaze us all the time!
E. The final WHY I will share for now is this; I am sure all the bumps and turns that my journey has brought me so far are for a reason. I have no idea about the exact reason, or reasons and don’t think it really matters. By sharing my journey, I hope that all my bumps and turns will help others along their own journeys. Personally, I have found so much support and comfort from the experiences that others have shared about their own bumps and turns. So this final WHY, is ‘ to share my stories with others and perhaps bring some comfort and support for them on their own journey.
Now that I have sort of loosened up that noodle pile in my brain, and forced myself to focus on my WHY’s, I shall leave you all for now. I am going to work on a 30-day blog challenge, I think this will help keep me focusing on the positives and give me the strength to gently start ‘unclumping ‘all these intertwined emotions and allow me to share a bit of how that goes!
Join me on this challenge, start your own blog, add it to your existing blog, or simply challenge yourself to comment on mine !
I encourage you all to share one of your own WHY’s below, or share how you work at unjumbling your own noodlebrain. Be sure to follow me and to subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss anything this noodlebrain has to share!
Until next time my noodlebrain and non-noodlebrain friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others.
We left the hotel in downtown Halifax around 9am. M was unable to eat breakfast this morning, which normally isn’t an issue, but of course this morning she wanted food. LOL I think it was more her just knowing she couldn’t eat though, and really she was doing great. She was allowed clear fluids that morning until 8am, she chose her Mountain Dew… lol but it was only a small sip! I couldn’t say no, considering it was clear, and it would be hours before she would be able to drink again! We made the quick drive over to the doggy daycare where Bean, our, no my, yorkie would spend the day playing. By the way, if you are ever in Halifax NS with a small pooch, be sure to check out Petite Urban Poochhttps://m.facebook.com/petiteurbanpooch/, fantastic staff, and a great playful atmosphere for your fur baby! Once Bean was happy playing we headed over to the IWK to begin this adventure.
M and Bean leaving Hotel
Lil buddy Bean
Bean at daycare
M remained in great spirits, she started to get a bit nervous as we sat in the day surgery area waiting for her nurse. She was fortunate to have her brother, ML ( son of my ex husband from his previous marriage) and his wife, TL, from Cape Breton, surprise her by coming to be with her! They were great to have around as they are very comical and are always fun to have around! Once we arrived at day surgery, and they called her in, we were given a room where we would meet with all the team that would be in the OR that day with her. The room was pretty full of her cheering squad that consisted of M, her dad T, her sister J , (who M is starting to look more and more like! )her brotherML, his wife TL, me and my fiancee. She certainly was well supported that day, and all the staff was great with all of us there! She changed into her wonderful Johnny shirt and then the visits began. The OR nurse came in to check all of her data in the system, and we signed the consent form. In preparation for the IV’s, she would be needing the nurse applies a numbing lotion on the backs of both of her hands, which she was really thankful for. The surgeon, Dr. El-Hawary came in to go over the procedure once more, he stated she would be in the OR for about 3-4 hours and then once she was awake enough we would be able to see her to recovery room staff would call us. Dr. E is one of the most calming, comforting and confident doctors I have ever met. He reassured us all, including M that all would go great, and he had no concerns at all! The anesthesiologist on that day was not the same one we had met earlier, today was an older German gentleman who we were told was very nice, but very short and to the point. LOL, We weren’t really sure how to take that, but it turned out he was wonderful, very quiet and to the point but had a neat sense of humor and a very calming and reassuring personality. By this time it was getting close to 1130 am which is when she was going to be going into the OR, the nurse came back to let us know that they were running a bit behind, so it would be about another 40 mins until they came for her. Ugghhh.. now she was really wanting to eat, and honestly so were most of us! Noone really wanted to eat because we felt bad for her not being able to eat! Kind of crazy I know but I’m sure some of you out there will relate!
Waiting to be called in
waiting waiting waiting
OR Nurse and M
Numbing cream being applied
Sisterly love…
Ugggg I dont wanna wait anymore!
The nurse finally came to say they were ready! No turning back now, off she went! She was a bit nervous, and I was insanely nervous, but think I hid it well. No real tears from either of us and for those of you that know me, know I cry at everything! I managed to keep the tears away! I knew if started I wouldn’t stop, this whole adventure has been such a roller coaster of emotions. She hugged the bear that TL had given her and off she went to the OR, yep even at 16, sometimes a soft cuddly bear is just what the dr ordered! It was the staff that suggested the bear fo with her into OR! That was awesome! Now the wait began for us! Her dad, ML, and TL remained at the hospital in the family waiting room, and J and I took off to the mall, to look for new jeans for J. I had a hard time leaving but knew if I stayed I would be overcome with anxiety, so off to the mall we went hopefully pass the time quickly. I was happy to have J there with me as I don’t get much time with her now that she doesn’t live at home anymore. So it was a good use of time for sure! Her dad provided updates from the hospital and that really helped ease my mind and let me better enjoy my time with J. It took about 2 hours to get M prepped in the OR and make the first incision to install the device. We made our way back to the hospital about 45 mins before Dr. E came out to tell us that all went well and we should be able to see her in about 20 mins. I remember seeing him come walking towards us, with a slight grin on his face and a Tim Horton’s coffee cup in his hand. For those who aren’t Canadian, Tim Horton’s is a must for many many Canadians. He looked so calm and relaxed. One would never think this laid back, coffee drinking, scrubs wearing guy, just finished changing life as they knew it, for 2 young girls today. He performed the same surgery in the morning before M’s! Let me tell you, that was such comforting news, and the wait would almost be over and we could see her!
M remained in great spirits, she started to get a bit nervous as we sat in the day surgery area waiting for her nurse. She was fortunate to have her brother, ML ( son of my ex husband from his previous marriage) and his wife, TL, from Cape Breton, surprise her by coming to be with her! They were great to have around as they are very comical and are always fun to have around! Once we arrived at day surgery, and they called her in, we were given a room where we would meet with all the team that would be in the OR that day with her. The room was pretty full of her cheering squad that consisted of M, her dad T, her sister J , (who M is starting to look more and more like! )her brotherML, his wife TL, me and my fiancee. She certainly was well supported that day, and all the staff was great with all of us there! She changed into her wonderful Johnny shirt and then the visits began. The OR nurse came in to check all of her data in the system, and we signed the consent form. In preparation for the IV’s, she would be needing the nurse applies a numbing lotion on the backs of both of her hands, which she was really thankful for. The surgeon, Dr. El-Hawary came in to go over the procedure once more, he stated she would be in the OR for about 3-4 hours and then once she was awake enough we would be able to see her to recovery room staff would call us. Dr. E is one of the most calming, comforting and confident doctors I have ever met. He reassured us all, including M that all would go great, and he had no concerns at all! The anesthesiologist on that day was not the same one we had met earlier, today was an older German gentleman who we were told was very nice, but very short and to the point. LOL, We weren’t really sure how to take that, but it turned out he was wonderful, very quiet and to the point but had a neat sense of humor and a very calming and reassuring personality. By this time it was getting close to 1130 am which is when she was going to be going into the OR, the nurse came back to let us know that they were running a bit behind, so it would be about another 40 mins until they came for her. Ugghhh.. now she was really wanting to eat, and honestly so were most of us! No one really wanted to eat because we felt bad for her not being able to eat! Kind of crazy I know but I’m sure some of you out there will relate!
Off they go!
The nurse finally came to say they were ready! No turning back now, off she went! She was a bit nervous, and I was insanely nervous, but think I hid it well. No real tears from either of us and for those of you that know me, know I cry at everything! I managed to keep the tears away! I knew if started I wouldn’t stop, this whole adventure has been such a roller coaster of emotions. She hugged the bear that TL had given her and off she went to the OR, yep even at 16, sometimes a soft cuddly bear is just what the dr ordered! It was the staff that suggested the bear fo with her into OR! That was awesome! Now the wait began for us! Her dad, ML, and TL remained at the hospital in the family waiting room, and J and I took off to the mall, to look for new jeans for J. I had a hard time leaving but knew if I stayed I would be overcome with anxiety, so off to the mall we went hopefully pass the time quickly. I was happy to have J there with me as I don’t get much time with her now that she doesn’t live at home anymore. So it was a good use of time for sure! Her dad provided updates from the hospital and that really helped ease my mind and let me better enjoy my time with J. It took about 2 hours to get M prepped in the OR and make the first incision to install the device. We made our way back to the hospital about 45 mins before Dr. E came out to tell us that all went well and we should be able to see her in about 20 mins. I remember seeing him come walking towards us, with a slight grin on his face and a Tim Horton’s coffee cup in his hand. For those who aren’t Canadian, Tim Horton’s is a must for many many Canadians. He looked so calm and relaxed. One would never think this laid back, coffee drinking, scrubs wearing guy, just finished changing life as they knew it, for 2 young girls today. He performed the same surgery in the morning before M’s! Let me tell you, that was such comforting news, and the wait would almost be over and we could see her!
There is no better feeling than seeing your baby girl.. lol, 16-year-old baby girl out from surgery! She was just as we were told she would be, groggy, emotional, and not quite herself! At the time, and still now, it’s hard not to chuckle at how groggy and all over the place she was! I was so relieved to see her, to see her sobs and hear her laughter, and crazy sedated thoughts she would share! She was teary and laughing and just a “sweet post op mess”!! Her biggest concern was the tape on her arm. She looked up and said, “is there tape on my arm?” to which I replied, umm yeppers there is some tape there. Her response,” Ohhhh man that’s gonna hurt coming off”! I had to chuckle, her biggest concern at that moment was the worry about having the tape ripped off!! No concern about the catheter still inside, no concern about the pain in her mouth from the tube they inserted during surgery ( and removed before she awoke), no concern about the 2 incisions in her back, no concern about the titanium rod that is now a permanent part of her ! So really life was pretty good for this post-op, emotional, silly gal! She had a bit of a blood blister on her bottom lip that we all, staff included, determined was from laying on the tube in her mouth during surgery and was nothing to be worried about. It kind of gave her a slight botox look on her lips! Lol, we laughed about that! After about 20 mins in the recovery area, the 7 Link staff came to wheel her to her room. Once settled in her room she was in good spirits, really groggy and spent the remainder of the day just sleeping. She was in quite a bit of pain as the night went on but was good at using the PCA pump to administer meds as she felt she needed. At this point, I was finally able to settle my nerves a bit knowing the hard part was over… for the time being. Living with anxiety makes settling and relaxing a bit of a challenge, to say the least. In my head, on one hand, I knew all would be ok, but then the anxiety sets in and starts messing with my mind. The pain she will be in, the struggles she will face with recovery, and a gammit of other useless worries that take over when they really shouldn’t be. So, as I leave her to rest, with her dad on night duty, I head back to the hotel to get some rest.
Feel free to subscribe to my blog so you can continue to follow this journey with us!! Great things will come I know it!!!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and look out for others!
The day has come, our bags are packed and we are headed to Halifax! Surgery day has arrived!
Hard to believe the wait is over. All the prepping, all the stretching and all the waiting is pretty much over. Dropped her off at school to write 3 .. yep…3 tests the day before she leaves! She has really been a trooper, not a lot of complaining, just a tad when naggy mom reminds her of the importance of the pre-op stretching, but otherwise, she is fully ready for this next adventure!
bent but not broken…..lets do this!
She had her last horse riding lesson for a long while last night. I think this will be the hardest part for her, not being able to ride! The girls from the barn gave her a card and some chocolates. I think that is when it really sank in for her, that the time is here! The card they gave her was absolutely perfect and fits her to a tee!
M and Echo
Trunk is getting full
Fuzzy blanket and pillow.. a must!
Tough Cookie!
Mom, on the other hand, is keeping it together somewhat, but am filled with anxiety, worry, and just plain ol mom emotions! I am super grateful she is being offered this new procedure (http://apifix.com/en/), and I’m sure it goes without saying that anyone in their right mind would have their own bag of emotions as one of their babies prepares for this big surgery!
I am sure the next week will be filled with many more rollercoaster emotional rides! Spending time with my 2 girls, many hours at the hospital, visiting with family in the city and a trip to visit my fiancee’s mom for her 80th birthday, while my daughters father pulls single parent duty for one night! That is providing that all goes well and mom can pull herself away for a mere 24 hours!
Next post will be post op, and hopefully filled with much good news to pass on! Asking for well wishes and strength from you all until then!
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and as always, look out for others!
Well, for those who have been following my blog, you know that we have recently returned from seeing my son and his girlfriend in Edmonton, and now are gearing up for my daughters Scoliosis surgery at the IWK in Halifax.
To say it has been an emotional rollercoaster doesn’t even come close to describing what has been going on in my heart and my head. One thing I am really starting to realize about parenting is this; nothing really prepares you for when your kids grow up and start their own lives. When kids are younger we always talk about the days when our little pain the butts grow up and finally leave the comforts of home. We spend a lifetime trying to prepare our little bundles for the big bad world, but what do we do to prepare ourselves to let them go? 2 of my kiddos are now out on there own. I can honestly say that I am so super proud of both of them. Both have gone through struggles getting on with this next chapter, which they have met with such maturity that I just can’t help but think that somehow we have raised them well. This is despite all the bad mom moments I have totally beat myself up over.
it’s crazy how watching our children grow can be the greatest yet toughest moments of our lives…
As I spent a week with my son and his girlfriend, I experienced so many mixed emotions about so many things in life. I reflected on our days gone by, I reflected on the rough days and the fantastic times we also have , which I am really truly grateful for, with my youngest still at home. She is 16 going on 40, I’m sure many can relate to that phase!! I have really had a great sense of peace as I reflect on how well they are all really are doing. However, I also miss the younger days, the days when we were all living so close to each other. Now I face a 4.5hr drive to see my daughter, or the plane ride to travel to the other side of Canada to see my boy, or the anticipation of where college will take my youngest next fall. I am enjoying the thoughts of them all being out on their own and enjoying the next chapters in life, on the same hand it is kind of scary preparing for my own next chapter, being a parent of three grown children. It is such a whirlwind of emotions, that I am truly grateful for and honored to be experiencing.
…pause…two…three…now continue…. always remember to take time for you..xo
I am learning to embrace every moment of every day and to just slow down and really look at what is important, something I wish I would have learned earlier in life. Rather than pouting and being miserable for the past I am working so hard at enjoying each day and being thankful for the experiences life has given me so far. The good, the bad and the ugly. When it all comes down to it, life is happening each day, so its best to just embrace it and focus on the things you can control and not worry about the things you can’t. I work to find peace in each day and in knowing that no matter what, I will always be Mom to my babies and that no amount of worry will help them or me.
Bundles of joy way back when
Me and my joys
lovin’ the smiles
Oh my kids… lol love em to bits
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself and as always, look out for others! xo
She was quite sore and tired. A broken night of sleep as the nurses came in every couple of hours to give her her meds and to move her in the bed so she wouldn’t get sores and to keep her more comfortable. The staff were great and very supportive and comforting to her.
